Reflections of Christ

To Us a Son is Born

2012-01-26T14:47:00.002-06:00

Today, twelve years ago, the rotation of the earth changed a bit.

Okay, maybe it just felt like that to me. There wasn't actually a seismic event that day, just a boy being born. Our son was born after a rather quick transition from "I think it may be time" to "Oh, God, the baby is coming." Since then, this boy has done almost nothing without a certain amount of drama or fuss. He make have only taken up trombone in the past six months, but he's been sounding a horn since the day he was born.

I remember as clearly as yesterday seeing him for the first time. I cut the umbilical cord while Dr. Williams held him and said hello. The doctor handed our son to my wife first (which makes sense, right?). She cooed and said hello and did a few other 'motherly' type things. Then he was handed to me. I held him close at first, then leaned him away from me a bit, observing, "He looks just like my father. Great, now I can fix everything that's wrong with our family." He would immediately comment on my thoughts. As a nurse wiped and washed him and then set him on a scale to weigh him, he baptized the scale himself. His message was clear: "You really have no control on what's going to happen next old man."

Over and over throughout the past twelve years this second child of ours has taught me that I really have no control over things. And its been one of the most important lessons I've had to learn - for myself, for my marriage, and in order to be faithful to anything and all that God has called me. Repeatedly God has spoken to me through the actions, ideas, questions and words of this little guy to remind me that job is to be faithful. Sometimes that has meant cleaning up an ugly mess. More than a few times faithfulness has sounded like me repeating myself over and over about what it means to be human or to be a man or to be a member of a family. Frequently being faithful has meant stopping what I'm doing, looking into his eyes and explaining something simply and honestly. Enjoyably it has included playing together whether it has been chess, scrabble, reading, board games, wrestling, or video games. Occasionally, being faithful has meant sitting down together, lowering my guard and apologizing and admitting that I was wrong.

Somewhere long ago someone once told me that parents love all their kids the same. That's not true. I have two children and I love them both fully with all of who I am. But I don't love them "the same." I might love them equally since I love both of them with everything inside of me. But I also love them differently because they are different people writing different stories. They share a lot of similar traits and experiences, but they are very different. And watching him blaze his own trail, because there's no way he go on anyone else's, reminds me that I don't spend nearly enough time just being present with him.

We have a family friend who routinely refers to my son as a prophet. This friend recognizes the way my son calls people out, sees things in rather simple terms and will honestly speak his mind, regardless if you want him to or not. I have no idea where he is going to wind. And I'll admit to spending way too much energy worrying about particular parts of the story - where he will go to school, how we're going to deal with teachers, fixing relationships and so on. In a way, this boy reveals to me over and over my own areas of vulnerability, which has drawn me even more in love with who he is. Which, of course, leaves me uncomfortable with the knowledge that now at age 12 he's tiptoeing (or running head-first) into a season of life where he is going to need more room, expect more freedom and test everything more than ever.

So, I'm going to do the only thing I've known to do all along - pray.

Father and Creator God, thank you for this amazing human being you have shared with us and made part of our lives. He reminds me so much of your passion for humanity, your creative genius and your demand for justice in our lives. And as I think of him, I think of the others you have tied together in his life. I am so grateful for the examples he has to follow in my wife, his sister and his grandparents and Uncles and Aunts. Thank you for the women and men we are in community with who give him both examples to follow and room enough to write his story. As I prayed that day in the hospital room, may he be yours; may he walk your path, hear your voice and learn the way of Christ. May he hear your love song and play it for the world to hear, even as he adds his own improvisation.

Amen.

Mosaics and Memory

2012-01-11T09:06:00.000-06:00

I'm sitting in a coffee shop (no, not the cool one) doing some work to get ready for a new teaching series through the gospel of Matthew. And of course, to think about the text I need to see images as well as read and pray. A quick Google search bring up an image of a mosaic of loaves and fishes that I immediately recognize.

In the early 1990's (I think it was January of 91) I had the amazing honor and privilege to travel to Israel as part of an education trip led by my friend and teacher Chris Bullard. Chris was the first preacher I ever worked with and was an amazing teacher of Scripture. He had an amazing gift for hearing and analyzing these texts, often cutting straight past any confusion or wanderings that would bottleneck my own reading. In my first Seminary New Testament class I often marveled at how much of what we were covering had already been lead out in front of me through the teaching and wisdom of Chris Bullard.

During our educational tour of Israel we stopped at the Church of the Loaves and Fishes. Of course, we talked about a couple of rather predictable passages in Matthew. I'll admit I can't pull out of memory right away everything Chris talked about that day. But I remember the images of the church, including the mug I bought and brought home. The mosaics in the church are immediately recognizable and remind me that learning and growing in anything, including faith, is not always as much about recalling facts or memorizing details as it is about remembering and telling stories.

When I see the mosaic of the loaves and the fishes I'm reminded of how startling the stories of Jesus are, how far my journey has taken me and how many amazing people, including Chris, God has sent into my life to help me learn to hear, grow and share.

Homework

2011-12-12T19:30:00.002-06:00

When I was a student I did some of the work teachers sent home; rarely did I take it all that seriously. Even in college I viewed homework as proof the teacher didn't know what else to do most of the time. With the exception of my higher-numbered education classes, most assignments felt like their intention was somewhere on the graphline between "keep students busy" and "prove you don't know everything." Only in graduate school - you know, 17th grade or so - did most of the homework start to feel like it was accomplishing something - sorting through major ideas, analyzing mindsets or methodologies, synthesizing material for myself.

I've been watching my kids do homework for several years now. Somehow, watching your child do homework feels related to and yet different than doing it yourself. I find myself "grading" the homework assignments: That's busy-work, this assignment's wasting her time, this work is going to help him process the new math skill, etc. Some of what the teachers send home is really classroom work they ran out of time for, or repetitive work to get a new skill (graphing or vocabulary) in the kids' heads. I get that. Some of the work is practice for upcoming tests or challenges. Ok. But, at least a third, if not half, of the homework that is taking up my kids' evenings is really a waste of time. Color in a map? Really?

My kids are in school, roughly, from 8:00 - 3:30. Do the math. That's 7 1/2 hours of instruction time. They are usually home by 5:30 or so and after dinner spend on average doing 2-3 hours of homework. Add to that 30 minutes practicing their horns and they are putting in 10 hour work days with the rest of their time being occupied by meals, transportation, and household chores.

Where did childhood go? I'd like them to have some of that time back for play, imagination, creativity, music, laughter and friendship - all of which are critical skills they're going to need in the workplace and in the world they'll have to live in a decade from now. In fact, they'll need that imagination and creativity skill set a whole lot more than they need to color in maps.

When the Rabbi Prays

2011-12-07T20:01:00.001-06:00

One of the true joys of my years in graduate school at Phillips Theological Seminary was a course I took introducing us to Contemporary Judaism. Our instructor for the class was Rabbi Charles Sherman who serves Temple Israel here in Tulsa. Rabbi Sherman introduced us to a whole host of topics and studies ranging from historical perspective and current experiences of Judaism. Without a doubt it was one of my favorite courses in Seminary, and entirely because of Rabbi Sherman himself. He is an amazing preacher, a wise counsel and a veteran servant-leader of people. I probably mention him way more often than I realize, and frequently have to compose myself as I remember with sweet tears the way his lectures, teachings and presence taught, challenged, encouraged and ministered to me.

A couple days ago I had the rare privilege of sitting in the watching my friend Blake Ewing (great picture of him here) take the oath of office as he was sworn in as one of Tulsa's newest city councilors. The ceremony was, in many ways, exactly what you'd expect a civic ceremony to be; it was fairly dignified, featured a litany of speakers, included the pledge of allegiance, and served as an occasion for the mayor to again push forward his hope for a renewed working relationship with other civic leaders, including, if not in particular the new city council.

At the end of the ceremony Rabbi Sherman was asked to pray over the newly inaugurated leaders. As has always been true when I have heard him speak, his remarks were spot-on, uniquely thoughtful and beautiful. I'm telling you, when the Rabbi prays, my heart softens, my soul stills and I suddenly am more mindful than ever of being humble before God.

With his permission, it is my pleasure to share them with you. My hope in sharing them is that you and I both are encouraged and a little challenged by his words in our lives of prayer for and in our participation with the world around us. Read them slowly; taste his attention to the things that matter and his awareness of politics, leadership, power and the kind of brokenness that is still very much a part of Tulsa.

City of TulsaInauguration CeremonyBenedictiondelivered by Rabbi Charles P. ShermanDecember 5, 2011 We ask Your blessing, O God, upon allour newly elected and continuing City leaders. Help them to plant fruitful seeds, so that what they do now will bringgood to our children and grandchildren, as well as to us. Teach them to be grateful for the gift ofdiversity which gives our city its character, and for the vision of harmony whichgives us hope. Grant them a sense ofpurpose that they may govern with direction, a sense of duty that they maygovern with conviction, and a sense of humor that they may govern withhumility. We pray not only for our leaders, butfor the people they serve. A city is notproperty - it is people. If people donot care, have no civic pride, then their leaders serve in vain. So bless us all, O God.
If our lives have become shallow, deepen them;
if our principles have frayed, repair them;
if our ideals have become tarnished, restore them;
if our hopes have faded, revive them;
if our loyalties have grown dim, brighten them;
if our values have become confused, clarify them;
if our visions have blurred, sharpen them;
if our horizons have contracted, widen them;
and if our hearts have been chilled by indifference,
warm them with compassion and determination. Help us all to care more about ourneighbors so that we can help our elected leaders to make of this city not justa place where we reside or work, but a home where we all live together withdignity, mutual support and pride. Amen

Reaching Hearts and Minds

2011-11-19T16:05:00.001-06:00

I find that I am still hurting for the folks affected by the tragic place crash that cost two coaches their lives. What happened to them was terrible. And that pain traveled further and deeper than we sometimes recognize. As I was telling someone earlier, you could see it even in those kids on TV playing ball last night. You know, the big, tough, macho football players... They were playing as hard as they could, but their minds and hearts were too torn. Even the coaches couldn't hide the how deeply they were affected.

I find myself amazed at how far and deeply the hurts and hardships of others can travel in our lives. What one person goes through ripples into our own lives. And as I realize that, I find myself astonished at how hard we work to try to cover that up, pretend it doesn't happen, ignore what's happening or just look the other way.

There is this powerful temptation we have to immunize ourselves from letting our hearts hurt. Perhaps some of that is rooted in a survival instinct - hurt and pain divide our emotions and distract our minds from other tasks immediately in front of us. And, I'm sure most of us have been in moments or seasons where our emotions were so torn apart by our own hardship or something that was devastating someone we loved that we were paralyzed or overcome. But that's not the norm. That's not what happens most of the time.

In the face of pain, we go to amazing lengths to sterilize our hearts, distance ourselves from empathy and distract ourselves into numbness. Perhaps that's part of the insane addiction we have to happiness. We will chase anything that promises to make us happy for a day, for a night, for a moment, so we don't have to feel anything else.

Maybe you're response is a little hesitant, or even a little defensive: Pain hurts. Fear kicks in. This is just instinct.

To quote a famous theologian: "Pain is life. Anyone who says differently is selling something."

Instincts are what animals and infants act on. Humans feel, connect, engage, struggle, suffer, and live. This is about more than survival; this is about being human.

I'm glad they played the game last night, and I'm sorry the OSU kids didn't get the win they so badly wanted. Not because I'm a fan of the program, but because my heart felt for them and for everyone else feeling the rippling waves of grief and sorrow. In the end, the football game was a moment; working through tragedy and heartache is life.

A Legendary Fall

2011-11-10T01:04:00.002-06:00

My close, personal friend Craig Ferguson always starts his show with the tagline, "It's a great day for America." Well, much to our embarrassment, anger and frustration, today is really not a great day for America. An icon of college athletics and for many the face of loyalty and integrity, Joe Paterno, has been removed from his position as the head coach of the Penn State football team. Similarly, the university president has been fired as well. There has been a great deal of outrage and finger pointing at the university and its high-profile, very powerful football program (here's an example) along with passionate, emotional support for Joe Paterno and his family.

I've never been a fan of Penn State, although I've had good friends and family members who have attended the school and who feverishly chant "We are..." as loudly and proudly as fans of any other tribe yell for their crew. And while I've never been a follower, I've always admired JoPa for staying in State College when there might have been more lucrative fields elsewhere, either in college or in the professional ranks. And I've never questioned his reputation as a leader with integrity and character.

To see his legendary, historic, record-breaking career end this way is tragic. But, as others have said much better than I can, the crisis and scandal playing out in Pennsylvania is bigger and more important than any person's career, reputation or legacy. As ESPN columnist and commentator Michael Wilbon said Monday on PTI, "This is a great (huge, terrible) American crisis. It happens to play out with sports as the backdrop." He is spot on. Sports is the canvas, but the scandal, the crimes (allegedly) perpetrated are what demands our attention.

The nature of these allegations, the heinous nature of the acts described provoke powerful and emotional responses from almost everyone. Its been rather surprising listening and watching to the comments, views and perspectives of the sportscasters who normally are trying to craft or carry a story about a game suddenly find themselves reporting and responding to events and accusation that dehumanize and destroy lives. [Here is an ESPN collection of responses to the scandal]

This scandal, along with the ones that have recently risen up in our schools and in our churches remind us all too well that we are capable of doing a great deal of very real harm to others, either by our actions, or by our failure to act. I'm not naive enough to believe that we can create a society or a system or an institution where people bent on doing evil won't be able to harm anyone. But somehow we continue to reproduce an ongoing plague in our culture where evil is overlooked, questions aren't asked, power is protected and the most vulnerable of our number suffer for it.

I have no idea how this firestorm will burn on in the coming weeks and months. But I will confess how deeply suspicious and doubtful I am about the entire truth ever being known or about true organization/institutional change happening in something as monstrously powerful as college athletics or a state university. In the end, Joe Paterno and other officials at the university may well have been in the dark, or less informed, or uncertain of what was happening to these children. But, in the end, the terrible crimes perpetrated against these minors happened on their watch, on their property, under their authority, within their systems of governance and leadership. And so the legend falls.

This epidemic has shown up in our homes, our schools, our churches, and now our favorite Saturday past time. And still, to be honest, many of us would do almost anything imaginable to pretend that such horrid things never go on behind closed doors. At least, not in our neighborhood, or at our school or at our church.When pushed too hard, many of us would try to look away, change the conversation and push back with, "Why do you keep bringing this conversation up, anyway?"

None of us are off the hook in the moral responsibility for protecting the innocent and vulnerable. Doesn't matter how big your church is, how many students you've known, how clean the suburb's streets are, or how big of a legend you are. Being honest, facing the threat, asking questions, maintaining systems of accountability, having painful conversations, developing organizational transparency and prioritizing the protection of the vulnerable over and against the power and reputation and success of the business (church, school, program) must be important and reinforced for all of us. This must be who "We Are" if not today, by tomorrow. Too much is at stake.

Because Knowing Matters

2011-09-12T22:13:00.000-05:00

If I lived in district 4 in Tulsa, I would vote for Blake Ewing for city council. And if you live in that district, you should vote for him. Why? Why should you listen to my advice? Because I know him. Well. And sometimes, knowing someone really well matters. This is one of those times.

I will admit that I have lost a great deal of confidence or faith in our government. I'm pretty pessimistic about how big money and large, multinational corporations are pulling the strings in our nation (and others). I'll admit that I have about zero faith in any politician anymore. And I'll tell you right out that I'm pretty sure that pretty much everyone holding an elected office is under the impression that their first job responsibility is not to the people, to the constitution or to the betterment of their city, state or government; they all think that the first thing to do on their job checklist is to get re-elected. Watch them. They are all perpetually campaigning, speaking in sound bites and doing whatever they have to do to get the next big donation, cull an endorsement and con the masses into voting for them. So, I'm pessimistic, faithless and cynical about the power, the processes and the people in government.

Knowing Blake as well as I do trumps all that. Knowing Blake helps me believe things could get better.

Blake has integrity. I know, everyone says something like that. But I don't mean it that way, anyway. Integrity isn't about looking clean or acting nice or trying to be a good person. Integrity is about something being whole; something with integrity is consistent, singular or true to itself all the time. Think of it this way - a watermelon has integrity. You never cut into a watermelon and get a grapefruit; a watermelon doesn't try to sell you on it being a banana or having all the calcium of a glass of milk. That's integrity and that's Blake Ewing. What you see is what you get. Blake doesn't put on pretense, doesn't pretend to be someone he's not and never hides behind a mask hoping to get something from you. I can't tell you how rare that is in business.

Blake is amazingly creative. More than just an aptitude to drawing pretty pictures (though he does that all the time on the paper covering tables at Joe Momma's) Blake has an astounding ability to see things from different perspectives, to think in new and imaginative ways and to generate something fresh and new. He uses his imagination more and better than any other leader I've met. And if that's not one of the top attributes you're looking for in an elected official in Tulsa, you need to visit your therapist soon. The government in Tulsa has taken 'stuck in the mud' to new lows in recent years. Elected officials are trapped in their own agendas, the pettiest of turf wars and absolutely foolish habits that are not only wasteful, inefficient and deplorable, they are costing this city credibility, opportunity and some real sense of a future.

And right on top of that, Blake is a terrific problem solver. Over and over and over in my years of knowing him and working beside him I have watched Blake bring out creative, innovative, gutsy solutions to problems I couldn't see past. Blake has an uncanny ability to get underneath a problem, identify the solution and then to find ingenious steps and systems for success. Does Tulsa need a creative problem solver right now?

And Blake is a visionary. Yes, I know that word is overused. Yes, I know it means very little very often. But Blake is different. Blake can see what Tulsa can become. He could see the revitalization coming downtown before anyone else I knew could. You should hear him talk about how Tulsa can grow new businesses

I could go on and on. I could tell you about how Blake is an avid learner, that no one I know takes self-leadership and learning more seriously than he does. I could write pages telling you about his almost endless work ethic (I've never seen anyone outwork him). I probably out to write about his honesty streak, his willingness to call himself on the carpet and look someone in the eye and apologize. I think you need to know he admits his mistakes and learns from them faster than any business owner I've met. He's a relentless thinker, a great speaker, super motivational and is someone you want on your team.

Tuesday, September 13th, if you live in district 4, do yourself and Tulsa a favor, vote for Blake Ewing to join the city council. He will be a bold, creative, hard-working, assertive, smart leader for your district and for Tulsa. I know, because I know him.

Compassion

2011-09-03T21:25:00.000-05:00

I swiped this quote out of the comments section from Jim Martin's blog:

“To be compassionate is to understand the conflicts other people have created in themselves without getting caught up in their poignant drama; you realize your compassion will be most effective if you stay centered in loving acceptance.” (Brennan Manning)

Wow.

Shakespeare in Voices

2011-08-22T20:45:00.000-05:00

Impressionist Jim Meskimen put together this amazing performance of a soliloquy from Shakespeare's Richard III. Some of the impressions are the classic (Carson, DeNiro, Nicholson) but there are some others that creative. Amazing work putting them together all in iambic pentameter.

If the video doesn't show up for you, follow the link and enjoy.

Guess What I Heard About Gossip...

2011-08-20T14:23:00.000-05:00

My Mother is never one to back away from stirring the pot, intentionally or otherwise. And last month, she stirred mine. We were at her home in Indiana, after we had already enjoyed our outing to Fair Oaks Ranch, and were pouring ourselves into one of her 2000 piece puzzles. Working a puzzle is really more like a salve for us. It provides a structure and engagement for our obsessive-compulsiveness and allows us to wander in and out of conversations together. We were doing exactly that, puzzling and conversing about friends, family and what-not. I was working on the bottom edge when my mother said something that flew in the face of a thousand sermons preached in a thousand pulpits.

"Gossip is good."

Being a rather well-educated adult, a mother to three and a grand-parent to two, my mother immediate recognized that the room had gotten quiet. She noticed the look of surprise and puzzlement on both my face and my wife's. She didn't miss a beat. She's rather practiced at puzzling people and then going on to make her point; she's a professor after all. "Gossip accomplishes a number of very good things in groups and communities. There's all kinds of harm that can be done if its done badly, but gossip is good." She then mentioned an article, some research, some classroom discussion...

I wanted to argue. I've read the Bible. I know better. Gossip is sin. Bible says it, I believe it... wait a minute.

There's a logic to her argument. I remember in high school hearing a couple of the girls I hung out with talking about a guy at school who had acted a certain way. I surmised very quickly that acting in that way had angered them and decided not to repeat that behavior. I remember hearing my parents early on talking about another adult who had acted in a way they found unacceptable; that stuck with me. And, as I think about it, any time I'm on the phone with anyone in the family - a parent, a brother - I ask them rather directly, "So, what have you heard about your family? What's going on? How's Dad? How's Brook?"

There's a fair bit of research and discussion out on this helpfulness of talk about others when they're not around. An article in the NY Times deals out some of this, including, "Gossip not only helps clarify and enforce the rules that keep people working well together, studies suggest, but it circulates crucial information about the behavior of others that cannot be published in an office manual." Makes sense. There were times early on in my career that I picked up on what to do and what definitely not to do by listening to people talk about others. "He's never in the office when people call" taught me early on to have some semblance of office hours when people knew they could reach me. That practice of talking about someone's mistakes reinforced an unwritten rule that I wouldn't have known otherwise.

Scripture has plenty to add to this conversation. Consider the following verses from Proverbs:

A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret. [11:13 - There's a similar refrain in 20:19 - A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much.]
A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends. [16:28]
The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts. [18:8 - rendered rather poetically by Eugene Peterson as - Listening to gossip is like eating cheap candy; do you really want junk like that in your belly?]

and from the Apostle Paul,

For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder. [Romans 12:30]

Both here in Proverbs and then again in Romans, gossip is depicted as a seed whose fruit is bitter, painful and divisive. But I hardly think they authors of Scripture are forbidding you from telling your brother about your Mother's most recent doctor visit, or how the newborn next door is battling a fever. Nor do I think anyone is suggesting that parents don't use real-life encounters as important teaching moments for their kids (as I did earlier this week when I made sure my children recognized the inappropriateness of one teenager's wardrobe failure).

If you look at all these references to gossip it seems to make sense - all of these prohibitions are related to relationships. How can we function as one body if we are divided? How can we be a healthy family if we're being pried apart or split up by hurtful talk? Sharing knowledge is one thing, talking hurtfully about someone else is another matter altogether. Maliciousness, no matter how it may try to hide, always shows its face. And that is what I think Scripture is going after in its strong rebuke of gossip.

Somebody somewhere probably has better terminology than I do. They probably have a fancy word for telling stories about our lives and experiences and neighbors that help us stay connected, pass on important values, and protect the rules and practices of the family.

Creativity, reuse, play all at work

2011-07-26T17:36:00.000-05:00

We just spent the afternoon at the City Museum in Saint Louis, MO. Don't let the name fool you, its not a museum, certainly not in the way you just thought of when I dropped that name. Think of the place this way: Indoor/outdoor playhouse with plenty of climbing, sliding and exploring, + artistic decor + reused materials, frames, doors, etc from old construction projects + food & drinks + a little bit of a historic museum (one corner of the fourth floor) + a little shopping.

On the google page I just found about the place, says,

City Museum is a museum, consisting largely of repurposed architectural and industrial objects, housed in the former International Shoe building in the Washington Avenue Loft District of St. Louis, Missouri. Popular among residents and tourists, the museum bills itself as an "eclectic mixture of children's playground, funhouse, surrealistic pavilion, and architectural marvel."

There are all kinds of iron/metal tubes, slides, climbing structures. There are displays, things to jump on, walk through, run in, climb over and the like. There's a giant make-shift hamster wheel the kids can run in, an old bank vault door to walk through, and even a tiny-tots area for the youngest kids. There is art on the walls, and artistic work done with the eclectic mix of materials and supplies. There's a wall made out of empty glass drink bottles, another made from old, used, restaurant pans. There are also little stores snuck in, including a vintage clothing store.

What sticks with me beyond the multiple uses going on in the space already, is the way each person buying a ticket approaches and utilizes the varied spaces differently. Some folks were using it as a giant over-sized playground with their kids climbing and racing. Other families are walk through each part of the space as a expedition team. An older couple was admiring the collections upstairs and talking about architecture. Still another group of folks were walking around noticing the odds and ends gathered from different places and reminiscing about St. Louis history.

From a business point of view, the owner has a pretty good thing going - people are paying money to get in, another fee for the 'rooftop' amusement rides (Ferris Wheel, and the like). Additionally, there's a restaurant and a bar each paying rent to operate in the space. And there is still space where other vendors, businesses or artists could set up shop. I have no idea how the place passes any code or safety inspections - there is a lot of metal sticking out or hanging up. There are people and children everywhere.

But what's they've created is a pretty inspirational little example of retooling an old building, reusing materials, encouraging play (instead of just sitting still and watching) and engaging the imagination. Pretty neat.

The Hour I First Believed

2011-07-13T23:14:00.000-05:00

As an over-energetic, completely in-experienced, greener-than-grass, twenty-three-year-old youth minister, there was no shortage of people standing in line to tell me I needed to be an adult. I can’t remember the first person who went out of their way to point out my immaturity to me. I have no idea who was the first person that told me I needed to grow up. But I do remember the first person who went out of their way to tell me that it was time to handle something like an adult and led me to believe that I could do exactly that.

I was finishing my first year of full-time youth ministry in Overland Park, Kansas. I had planned a weekend retreat for our middle-school students, even inviting in a youth minister from Florida that I had met in my college years to come speak and provide leadership. And I was working with some absolutely amazing students and their families. About half-way through the weekend, during some free time, a small group of our girls had gathered around the piano and were laughing, giggling and singing, writing a song together. I walked by and they told me that they were writing that song for me. Today, as a parent of two, a husband of 17 years and having worked with students, families and churches for more than 20 years, I would know how to respond. But I was none of that in that moment.

As the girls were excitedly telling me that they were writing a song for me, a tidal wave of personal insecurity overwhelmed me and I started to back away, insisting that they had better things to be doing. The more I tried to back away, the stronger they insisted. I ended up making a bit of a scene, turning my back and walking away mumbling. As I left, two adults who were in the room acted maturely on my behalf. The first was that speaker/youth-minister. He just recollected the girls’ attention and kept working on their creative project. The other adult was named Alan.

Alan was not your ordinary adult. Alan was a deacon in our church, a very involved parent in our youth ministry, a volunteer who cared about students and a problem solver. Alan was also a rather tall human being with a strong, deep voice and a proclivity for telling people what he thought in a rather direct manner. While the speaker was focusing on the girls, Alan came and focused on me. In a rather direct manner and in that big, tall, strong voice of his he told me just how immaturely I had just acted. “These girls have spent all this time working on this song for you, and you’re going to act like this?” I could hear immediately that what I had blown off as a silly thing was far more important than I had realized. And I knew, though I didn’t know how to talk about it yet, that what I had done was really an action of insecurity, fear and self-preoccupation, and that I had let me get in the way of something worthwhile. It was a tough, painful moment, probably the hardest moment I had faced that far in ministry.

If that had been where the story ends, it wouldn’t be worth remembering. There have been plenty of times in my life when people have found a way to point out my failings, immaturities and need to grow, either kindly or otherwise. But Alan wasn’t quite finished yet. He had made his point, but he had just a little more to say. He stood there a minute with his frustration with me, towering taller over me than he himself did. I could sense that something about his experience of a parent had taught him something that I still didn’t quite grasp. I was frustrated, embarrassed, humiliated. This was an all-too-familiar feeling. I could feel this sense of shame growing, starting at my feet, and creeping towards my spine.

But as we stood there, after a moment, Alan said something. “You have to handle that stuff better. And you can.”

“You can.”

Those words stood out like flashing lights over the intersection on a dark, rainy night. I knew I had blown it, but somehow in those two words, the direction changed. The question wasn’t whether or not I was immature, the question put in front of me was whether or not I was going to grow. And the idea he was planting in my soul, intentionally or otherwise, was that I could grow up. Lots of people had told me to grow up; Alan was the first person in my ministry that told me I could.

I started ministry without any formal training, without seminary education, without a degree, and without any experience even being in a youth group. I was a raw mess of impulsive energy, spiritual hunger, new-convert-zeal, creativity, loneliness, and 23-year-old passion. In His amazing wisdom and providence, God saw fit to put some amazing people in my life who shaped and sharpened me in undeniable ways. Some of those people were intelligent, creative, passionate students. A handful of them were leaders, volunteers, ministers and elders in the church. And a few of them were parents who were willing to partner with a very imperfect, young, impulsive, inexperience kid playing at adult. Alan was one of those. And my ministry, my faith, and my children are all the better for it.

Friends worth your Vote

2011-06-18T00:04:00.000-05:00

I have a post brewing about the upcoming Tulsa elections... but this is not it.

Instead, I'm talking about those nostalgic, eclectic, glitzy Absolute Best of Tulsa Music Awards. My good friends Algebra and the boys from Scales of Motion are nominated again this year. Give them a shout - and a few clicks - of support by going to the Urban Tulsa Weekly's voting page now.

These guys are worth your time - and you're not familiar with their creative, fresh, honest work, well, shame on you. Change that now. The stuff they're putting together has real gravity and showcases some wonderful talent.

Declining Journalism

2011-05-18T23:09:00.000-05:00

For more than a few years I've been hearing people talking, writing and arguing about the decline of journalism over recent decades. Where I suspect the average person like you or me notices it is in the newspapers that have disappeared or have made drastic cuts in their staff levels. Less trained reporters means less people able to snoop around in libraries, city halls of record and in the local pub where all the ground-level decision making starts or where people try to rewrite the story or cover their tracks.

But Jordon Cooper has done an awesome job posting some great thoughts about the lost art of journalism. Its a collection of great thoughts combined with some thorough research on his part, well worth the time.

There is to Jordon's post that I like. One thought I appreciated that I think I knew, but couldn't articulate as cleanly as he did, is that there is a very real difference between news entertainment and true journalism. And much of what people watch today and call the news, is news entertainment, as Jordon says, driven by ratings and is all about profit."

A long time ago, in a land far to the Southeast, I started freshman year at Alabama as a journalism major. And in the early, broad, wide-curriculum classes, I heard over and over what I would call "the high call of journalism." Listening to professors and reading the materials I recognized that these folks saw themselves as the last, lone voice of correction and accountability to government, industry, and the rich and powerful. They saw in their mission a need to stand apart, resist spin-artistry and tell it "as it is."

Maybe there are a few folks still with that calling ringing in their ears. But Cooper is right, maybe "reporters were afraid of being on the wrong side of public opinion."

Rivendell Sunday: Display

2011-05-17T20:40:00.002-05:00

Rivendell Sunday: "Display"

To display: (verb) to make visible; to reveal, uncover, make known.

Where do you connect with God? What reminds you of God's love? What do you do that centers your faith? How do you reconnect with the hope and life of God? When was a moment when your faith was given new life?

This coming Sunday, bring something that answers this, that tells a story. It can be a station, an exhibit, a demonstration. It can simple and small - a quote printed out from scripture or a picture or a song on your I-pod. It can be large - like a science fair project without the paperwork or tedious 'hypothesis' stuff. We'll set all these things around the room and take in the display together. Come and share with each of us a little peek into what helps keep your faith alive or reminds you of God's presence in your life.

Talking Rapture

2011-05-17T08:12:00.000-05:00

As I was driving my daughter to school this morning, we apparently passed a billboard talking about May 21, 2011 as judgment day. I was too involved with the less-than-stellar NASCAR impersonators on the highway and missed it. But she saw it and asked me a vague question about what it might be talking about. I just assumed it was a plug for a new reality show or a local car dealership.

Whoops. Apparently my Master's degree from PTS hasn't quite fully prepared me. A religious expert has come to the conclusion that this Saturday is the day of the rapture. Wow. Me being uninformed probably surprises no one, but you'd think I would have some idea.

After I read online about this prediction, I figured out what the billboard on the highway must have been saying. I thought a simple sentence of context was all I needed to say. My daughter stared at me in curious confusion for a moment and then said, quizzedly, "Rapture?"

"Oh boy."

Now, in the 15 minutes before we leave the coffee shop and head to her school for a make-up test, I get to boil down the volumes and years of debate, research, argument, doctrine and theology related to end-times, and eschatology.

I find myself wondering, does this mean we don't have to mow the lawn again? Or worry about next month's mortgage?

If you'd like a chuckle, check out this video I found through a twitter link on McLaren's blog.

And, if all this raises meaningful questions for you and you'd like to spend time praying together about friends or family or things going on in your life, let me know. If it raises important theological debate for you, call my friend Daniel, our theologian in residence. Or, you could email someone at the seminary. I'm sure they've got folks who know more about this than me.

Someone Else's Day

2011-05-09T15:36:00.000-05:00

Having a birthday in early May means that with great frequency my wife celebrates her birthday on almost, if not exactly, the same day as Mother's Day. There's not much we can do about changing that, so we usually turn it a celebration that happens over the course of several days. For instance, we're going out to dinner tonight for Mother's Day, even though those festivities legally ended at midnight.

Yesterday, after some wonderful time with our church friends and communion and some relaxed conversation, we headed home. On the way home, I prepped the kiddos with the news they didn't want to hear: "We're going to mow the lawn as soon as we get home." Immediately I was met with a chorus of other things that seemed to be of greater priority on their agendas for the day. As much as they liked their ideas, I countered with a phrase that I knew to be a "trump card," basically settling the discussion: "Mommy wants the lawn mowed. We're going to get that done." To my shock, they both resisted again.

What? Really? Did you just argue back? I told you "Mommy wants this." Usually those words alone are enough. This woman is the most giving human being you know, she hardly ever insists on things being done her way and the things she asks and expects of you are healthy, vibrant and usually something you enjoy. And by the way - today is both her birthday and Mother's Day. I didn't yell all that, but there was a notable lack of humor or wit in my tone.

Later, after the mowing was done, we all convened on the back patio, popped open some IBCs and sat around talking while I lit the grill and waited for the charcoal to come of age for dinner. We talked about our summer schedule, about family members, about stuff going on. This, without planning it, is exactly what my wife wants on days like this - time together, relaxing, talking, connecting.

After a little while one of the kids suggested going inside to play on a computer. "No," I insisted, "we're out here, being together, being with Mommy." He thinks it over, and then suggests going and getting the laptop and brining it on to to the patio. "No, this is about someone else, not playing on a computer." This process continued off and on for a while.

We did play a bit of a game giving the kids a challenge to discover three things about their mother they've never known before. Eventually, the grilled Tuna was ready to be devoured. We moved inside, ate a great meal, did a fast, easy clean in the kitchen (hence the grilling) and then sat on bean bags while playing scrabble, because Mommy wanted to play a game together.

Some of that sitting around, focusing on the relationship stuff was hard for the kids. And I get it. It is so hard for me to keep my mind, my heart and my spirit on someone else, on what they are saying, what they are feeling, what I'm discovering. Somehow in my life being an individual has turned into self-preoccupation. And it usually feels pretty justified.

I'm reminded again of a few conclusions I've reached that I think are related to all this:
- The loss of front porches and front porch swings is not a good thing for our neighborhoods or our families.
- Most of us really don't know how to "be friends" anymore.

- Being a family is so much more work and takes so much more effort than we ever realize.

As we sat outside on the porch with conversations drifting back and forth I remember thinking, "Its just too easy to take this for granted." These kinds of moments are so rare. Between the demands of school schedules, job requirements, daily chores, new relationships, friendships, and the stress of living, somehow I have to keep myself from missing out on being right here with these people. Loving God, help me present, fully aware and open to who these people are, and to who I am with them and because of them.

Mythology, Science Fiction and the New Mexico Dessert

2011-05-06T22:11:00.001-05:00

The newest Marvel comic legend to hit the big screen is Kenneth Branagh's Thor. Starring Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman and Tim Hiddleston, this movie delivers a broad, fast-paced plot that moves quite quickly and freely between three different realms. The movie makes a basic trade with you - if you'll give up any requirements of plausibility, it will deliver great action, beautiful artwork deserving of the giant screen and much more in design and epic than you walked in expecting.

The movie has basically three cords of storyline. The first is Thor's story, the second cord is the story of his brother Loki and the third is the bigger narrative of earth in peril, and the forming of the soon to come Avengers. As these three different strands of story interweave and pull tense against each other, the epic comes to life. Indeed, it is the tension and attention to details in how these cords pull against each other that make this comic-book super-hero feel so substantial, almost giving it a hint of Shakespearian finesse, which is hardly surprising with Branagh at the helm.

As movie plotlines go, there's no much in the way of sudden, head-turning plot twists in Thor. Most of where the path that Thor's character will have to follow is easily visible to those of us in the audience, if not to character himself. To call this a coming-of-age story would be too simplistic and would draw down Hemsworth's character too much. Indeed, it is the grandness of the story, the nine worlds and the mythology that make this feel richer and thicker than just the story of a over-achievable arrested-adolescent would-be-king who needs to grow up into more than a legendary warrior. Hemsworth carries the character high on his chest without looking foolish, and gives his comic-book legend a gravity at just the right moment. Its not that we are surprised at pretty much anything Thor does. Instead, we enjoy it, wanting to see him make the choices, come to realizations and do what it takes to develop and finally come of age, all in two hours.

Without being guilty of broadcasting too many spoilers, the storyline cord for Loki is similar in nature, but works in the opposite direction. Loki's character takes on the classic appearance of wisdom while slowing winding toward destruction. Tom Hiddleston plays the classically mischievous with a certain sobriety. Instead of Loki coming at us like an angry jokester as in Jim Carrey's Riddler, he feels much more like an angry, trapped man who's waywardness leads him toward deception as his best hope for achievement. His movements very much harken toward a classical theater trope of family betrayal and a character spiraling more than he recognizes himself.

The third story strand, and admittedly the one that is both over-developed and outright assumed at this point, is the earth is in peril, Thor will help us if we can help him and we need to get all this done before the story ends so that they can start filming The Avengers. Joss is waiting for this and the upcoming Captain America, and we know this before we even buy our tickets. Portman helps us by playing seriously the now all-too-familiar smart, beautiful, but ready to fall in love scientist and perhaps using that strange religious language of science and wormholes to give some kind of context for us for the Norse mythos and magic. And, yes, it is more directly visible than in any of the other recent Marvel studios movies that this movie is setting us up for another one to come. But again, that expectation works to the films advantage. We know that's what happening and we feel a little more comfortable just letting pieces fall into place and helps to keep pressing us forward in the plot.

There's a wonderful weaving together of science-fiction, mythology and magic in this movie. Early on the cast and director started talking about the movie being set in this place where people see magic and science as the same thing. There's something both beautiful and freeing about that. Not only do we as an audience no longer have to explain everything to ourselves - which is a terrible burden isn't it? - but there's also this discovery we make that some pursuits just aren't worth our time as movie goers. We're better off watching, listening, enjoying and letting these people be who they are and tell us their story. Suddenly, we're comfortable and following along as this films moves back and forth between the regal, majestic world of Thor's warriors and the flannel-shirt, small town New Mexico backdrop.

The wonder of this movie is that regardless of how far-reaching the story is with its epic-scale space opera of Norse legends and comic-book story pieces, and in spite of the fact that we know all too well that over-eager, vain, rich, powerful, spoiled sons rarely ever grow up regardless of who they hurt, let alone do it within 90 minutes, we like seeing it and buy it. And perhaps that is the biggest surprise and gift that Branagh and Hemsworth and Portman bring us; between the three of them we know what's coming, see it happening and enjoy the journey. Perhaps we've even tempted into taking this Marvel of a tale almost as seriously as we take the stories our kids tell us about their playground adventures. Almost.

Thor is good fun, only has a couple mild expletives and while boasting a fair bit of battle and violence, shows little that my son would find gruesome. The battle scenes are sometimes long and are very physical. But this isn't modern warfare with spurting blood or decapitation. It is very true to its source material - Thor is a comic-book tale that leans towards grandness and yet manages to stay fun and exciting.

Update:
Thanks to the wonderful IO9 blog feed, I read this wonderful "All you ever wanted to know about Thor" post for those who are Hammer-Hero-Impaired.

Having No Idea

2011-05-05T15:19:00.000-05:00

I was on FB, also known as time-waste-book, and I saw a link from my friend Penni about a memorial service. I was a little surprised to see such a link, so, while aware this could be yet another social-media-virus, I followed it and found myself moved and loving what I was reading.

Penni's link was to a Tulsa World story (yes, I know, Tulsa World has created limits on how much you can see/read each month which is both annoying and unwise) about a woman who has been separated from her mother for more than a decade, and pretty much for the whole of her young life. This woman discovers an entirely new person being described at the memorial a local church put together for her Mother.

As I read the article I was reminded of how one-sided our views of others, even those closest to us, can become. I was also struck by how powerful and influential the daughter's father's hurt had become in her life. And I am inspired by the wonderful stories the people at the memorial were able to tell about this daughter's mother. Kudos to the church for having an environment and a willingness not only to serve others around downtown, but for creating space for outsiders to join them in the role and responsibility of serving.

But what stood out most to me, what turned this into blog post/rant instead of a quick tweet with a link, is the statement at the end of the article by the daughter. This young woman, just having turned 18, has known nothing about her mother for 16 years. She has been powerfully influenced by the voice of her father who has nothing good to say about the woman. She travels from Norman to Tulsa having no idea what to expect when authorities contact her about the death of her mother.

But in the time of 45 minutes and in the space of the hearts gathered together in a church basement in Tulsa, this young woman discovers someone she's never met. "I love my mother" she will say at the end. These voices telling stories, sharing brief glimpses of memory and joy and friendship change, at least a little, of what this daughter knows. They give her a peek at someone she never met, a taste of a relationship she never knew, and maybe never could have without them.

Sounds like the church actually doing its job a little, doesn't it?

Wonder what it takes to allow that to happen...

Tell Me the Story Again

2011-02-14T10:14:00.000-06:00

Our children, even now when they both have two digits for their ages, love to hear or retell stories they already know - especially the ones that either tell something about them, or about us. Frequently, I'll be asked, "tell the story of when I was born..." or "tell that story about me and Mommy..." or "tell that story about your cat and the wall..." Part of it I guess has to do with enjoying what is already familiar. But, lets be honest, we all like to be reminded who we are. And somehow some of these stories remind the kids of who they are and who we are as a family and provide a little context and background into who their parents are.

That is what is at the core of our family's Valentine's day tradition. Each year, my wife and I have the same meal for Valentine's day and in a little bit of playhouse theater, re-enact a little of what happened in my apartment in Kansas City 17 years ago. Its not that I'm either of us are very big fans of valentine's Day per se. Instead, its a day to remember how we got into this, and a chance to tell each other and our children, what it means to love. We tell stories about how we met, how we 'knew' and decided to marry, how we talked about love, and through the years what we've learned about our relationship, our commitment and marriage.

I protect this little family ritual for the same reason I insist on including more traditional vows when I do a wedding. Every time my wife and I sit through a wedding ceremony and the minister gets to the vows and the couple starts repeating those words to each other, my wife squeezes my hand a little tighter, my mind goes back to our own wedding and I remember who I promised to be, even though I understood so little about what I was saying.

I, Kyle, take you Cathy, to be my wedded wife
To have and to hold from this day forward
To love and cherish you above all others
For better or worse,
For richer or for poorer

In sickness and in health

Somehow, rehearsing this moment from 2004 serves to push back against all the myths and confusion about romance, identity, sexuality and love that always seems to be bubbling in the water around us.These stories we will tell tonight, these memories we will reenact, are like little signposts helping me keep my eyes and mind and heart all looking the same direction in my marriage, serve as a renewed promise to my bride, and hopefully, help my children have some kind of foundation as they mature and start to think about love, romance and relationships in their own lives.

Christmas as a time to deal with reality

2010-12-24T22:34:00.000-06:00

There are plenty of times that we run head-first into how things aren't the way they ought to be. And the normal range of reactions probably includes everything from outrageous talk-radio style rants to angry texting to sour disappointment, if not depression. But Christmas is full of moments that invite us to move beyond what ought to be and to deal with the reality that's happening right in front of us.

Mary was engaged to Joseph and traveled with him to Bethlehem. She was soon going to have a baby, and while they were there, she gave birth to her first-born son. She dressed him in baby clothes and laid him on a bed of hay, because there was no room for them in the inn. [Luke 2:5-7, CEV]

Now that quote from the Contemporary English Version has with it all kinds of cultural read-ins that are probably so familiar to us, we read right past them. But the one the detail that is maybe most understandable for us to miss is the most familiar, right there at the end: "no room for them in the inn." In the Message, Eugene Peterson tries to get a little closer to the narrative detail shared with us from long ago:

"because there was no room in the hostel."

Hostel is close. The place being mentioned by Luke is remembered as a Caravansary. Think of it as a cross between an RV park and European Hostel. Travel was difficult in ancient times - no smooth, clean, 4-lane interstates; no frequent exits with roadside necessities (like burgers and blizzards). There were really no kind of state troopers, who usually most motorists want to avoid, but travel alone late at night on a dark two-lane back-water highway when you car breaks down and suddenly a police car is a welcome sight. Travel was harsh, demanding and very dangerous as most caravan routes were routinely plagued by thugs and bandits.

So along the way there were these roadside campgrounds. They included three levels of accommodations, an market of sorts, a bit of impromptu entertainment and plenty of space for your caravan to spread out, camp, build a fire, prepare meals for now and to pack, water, shelter and people to meet and trade with. They were large, spacious encampments, with plenty of room and all kinds of opportunity. These were large spaces designed to handle any number of travelers, especially amongst a people who were accustomed to making room for one another as they lived and traveled. We may think of a hotel room as space for one person or perhaps a couple. But they would see our rooms as grand, spacious and lavish, easily having enough room for a couple of families.

Everyone who heard Luke's narrative read aloud had heard of these caravansaries and probably would have experience with them. And as they remember back to their visits at their version of Roadside Inn, they would remember never having seen it over-stuffed with no room for a family traveling with a pregnant woman. Luke's description is shocking. The idea that a caravansary is so overcrowded that a woman is giving birth where the animals are kenneled is unexpected, shameful and disarming. The hero of the story is showing up in the least likely place for a hero to come into the world. What an outcast.

As for Joseph and his bride, this is unwelcome news, unfortunate timing and impossibly embarrassing. Perhaps their best hopes were to make it to Bethlehem for the census so that there in the city amongst members of his family, Mary could be cared for in her delivery. But instead, in what must feel like the worst possible timing, Mary feels the contractions begin.

There's no long laundry list of things that have gone wrong, no cranky status update, no scene of Joseph screaming at the family running the caravansary, "You've got no space for a woman giving birth? Do you want to be 'that guy'? Really?" No phone call to the family lawyer, no pleas of 'why, God, why?' Luke has no space in his manuscript for any of that.

Instead, the story is simple: Mary finds the space she can, and with a quiet dignity does what nature forces a woman to do in that situation - breathe, push and pray. She takes the newborn and wraps him up tight and finds a little room for him. And in the commotion and business and over-crowdedness of the moment, she does what has to be done. Such is the case often with God's servants in the book of Luke.

As your day is stuffed and packed and brings all manner of possibilities and unexpected things to your front door, I invite you to recognize that it is frequently in the facing of the unwanted situations or unexpected moments that God arrives. When you are tempted to not make the journey because of everything that could go wrong or how uncomfortable it might end up being, I remind you of the words of the angels that night:

Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.

NCAA Ruling is an Epic Failure

2010-12-02T00:00:00.000-06:00

I thought there couldn't be a bigger failure in college football than last weekend - between Alabama's 2nd half letdown and meltdown and the foolishness of the coaching staff of OSU leaving their secondary completely embarrassed in a bedlam game they have been begging for.

Leave it to the NCAA itself to top all that. The NCAA has plenty of reason to believe that the amateur status of Auburn University's starting quarterback is no longer viable. People representing him have jockeyed for cash payment for his professional services on college football teams. That makes him ineligible. Its really that simple. Just ask Reggie Bush and USC. But somehow, with a straight-face, the NCAA announced that Cam Newton is eligible for the remainder of the season. Never mind that there are plenty of people pipping up about his ineligibility. Never mind that he has a history of bending and breaking the rules. Never mind that he can't even face the media.

How could the NCAA make such a dishonest, hypocritical, foolish, ridiculous ruling? The guys on PTI nailed it today. Listen here (12/1). They start a minute in - and they are spot on.

Terrible decision. Epic Fail. Once again the people who are addicted to their greed and power and control over college athletics send a clear message - the character of the game, the status of students, the lives of the kids and any semblance of integrity is a distant second to the powers-that-be making their money. For all of you future college athletes, this is really simple: The goal is not to fly straight, live within rules, play fair, have integrity or actually even be a student while you're performing. Your goal, as is seen in this ruling by the NCAA, is to do whatever you can to take care of yourself, to get ahead, to cash in and just do your best to not get caught. Of course, that's only true if you're in the right system, helping the powers-that-be protect their best interests. Never mind all that otherwise. They'll squash you and make an example out of you at the first chance they get to try to throw the stench off decisions like this.

Heaven forbid the NCAA actually go about the business of protecting the integrity of amateur athletics or actually focus themselves of protecting college students from the predatory practices of the professional sports empire that continues to find both methods and volunteers with hands out in order to defraud the system.

Fascination with the Undead

2010-11-30T02:19:00.000-06:00

I just finished watching Zombieland. Funny moments, cute Scott Pilgrim-esqe moments (yes I know Zombieland came out first) There were some great lines, funny gags, and good moments - especially with Bill Murray. Okay. Good movie. I enjoyed it enough to give it four stars in my Netflix ratings, but only gave it 3 so that the Netflix won't recommend every zombie movie to me. Because, the zombie part of it was the part I didn't enjoy.

The whole zombie thing is just beyond me. I don't get it. I don't get the fascination with it, the fear factor, the gore or why anyone gets into the overused disease-caused global infection of mindless, purposeless cannibalism. I enjoyed Will Smith and a couple of the moments of I Am Legend, but again, the Zombie thing just didn't work or fit or make sense or connect with me.

The closest I've ever come to not being both bored and annoyed with the zombies-as-badguys was on Serenity. The reavers were basically space-dwelling zombies with a enough remaining intelligence to pilot ships and kidnap and snatch victims. I think what made it work was a combination of the disdain and fear the characters had toward the reavors combined with the fact that the reavers weren't the only threat or really even the primary enemy the characters faced. They were a secondary issue on the far edge of space that we didn't encounter over and over (until the movie).

So, once and for all, to all you zombie movies and zombie lovers: I'm just not that into you. I'm sure there's something of a commentary of what it is that we're afraid of or sensing as a culture that these movies have made their way back into our mainstream entertainment (other than our fascination with gore). But I'm probably not going to spend too much time thinking about it. I'll leave that to you.

And Don't Call Me Shirley

2010-11-29T01:18:00.000-06:00

Serious actor turned comic genius Leslie Nielsen passed away yesterday. I still remember seeing Airplane in the theater when I was 13. His timing and dead-pan delivery have been with me ever since. There are all kinds of great quotes, include a selection of them here (quite a few ads on that site). But I'll still be quoting his, "and don't call me Shirley" for some time - along with the variations on his response to, "A Hospital? What is it?" Nielsen's character: "Its a big building with patients, but that's not important now." Some writer in a coffee shop may be put those together, but Leslie delivered them and made them classics.

Rest in Peace.

Thinking about Advent

2010-11-12T11:36:00.000-06:00

We're getting close to Advent, which has to be my favorite part of the Christian calendar. I suspect that outside of the Catholic and mainline churches, most folks aren't terribly familiar with the idea and dreams behind Advent. I love the way this season pushes me towards longing for God's presence and movement in the world, challenges me to look for the presence of Christ and to join God on Christ's mission.

Thomas Merton (somewhere) said, “We must not strive to keep an atmosphere of optimism during Advent by mere suppression of tragic realities.”

Our voices must speak out against sentimentality that would ignore the things staring us in the face – suffering, injustice, hatred, greed, shallowness, irresponsibility, moral bankruptcy, spiritual ineptitude. How will people know that the One who is to come is already among us? It will not be in the sights and smells and sales and crowds at the malls. We can’t hide behind Frosty and Rudolph and pretend that everything is going to just magically get better – or worse, teach our children to do the same. God calls us to lean into a future where justice is a more of a reality than just a prayer, where hope is experienced, not just longed for.

Advent does not pull us out of the world to wrap ourselves in the warm fuzzies of the season – but instead puts us on the road to a mountain where we can see both the past and the future coming of Christ. We can see where he lived out God’s call for mercy and justice – and where he is moving among us today – and where he is headed for the future.

Advent calls us not only to examine our own lives, but also to rummage around looking for signs of Christ’s presence in our midst – and to name and run towards those places where God is most blatantly needed.

We enter the world yearning for a new creation, a new community a new call and a new center.

Advent beckons us to cling to the God who says, “‘The days are coming,’ declares the LORD, ‘when I will fulfill the good promise I made to the house of Israel and to the house of Judah.” (Jer 33:14)

Free Consultation for Local Businesses

2010-11-08T10:19:00.000-06:00

For a couple minutes, I'm going to offer my vast collections of insights, experiences, business savvy and wisdom to you, the local business owner, for free. You're welcome.

There are a couple of impressive efforts being made to get me and countless others like me to buy products, utilize services of locally-owned businesses like yours. Think of the efforts being done by Shop Tulsa and even carried forward by local entrepreneurs like my friend Blake. Owasso has its own Buy Owasso campaign (they say its working...)

So, people are jumping in to help you by encouraging me to spend money in this city, do business with you, to buy my CDs or books or shoes or whatever through you instead of going through Amazon or Zappos or through any of the almost countless other online sites for my pleasure. And these campaigns translate well. I'd rather give my money to the owner of a local small business than have at least part of it being sent across the country to some faceless CEO and board of directors. I realize no one can compete with Amazon's prices or a national chain's buying power. And I'm usually willing to spend the extra dollar or two that it takes to do business with you instead.

But, if you want my business more than once, there are a few things you have to remember when I walk in the door.

1. Teach your people to smile. I know, I know, most people would rather be parasailing, painting or playing with their dog instead of working. But, when they are on the clock, at the register and otherwise working, they are representing you, your business and the whole idea of buying local. A smile goes a long way to making me feel welcome and gives me the impression that your business is glad I walked in the door. A smile says things that words can't. Smiles change people's days for goodness sake.

2. Politeness is always appropriate. I'm sure the folks you've hired are full of all kinds of local flair and personal style. Have them add to that a basic civility and a commitment to being polite. Remind them that the way they conduct their business matters. Rudeness, inconsiderate comments and acting 'too cool to care' will mean less revenue for you and less hours for them.

3. Consistency is essential. If I come in to your business this week and get different answers, different services or different experiences that's not called variety or creativity. Its a sign that you're not really the one running your business - your employees are, and badly. I'm not talking about specials you change out each week or creative marketing ideas you have from time to time. I'm talking about employees reinterpreting policies in each situation to fit their own ideas, goals or agendas. I'm talking about your customers tasting a completely different dish or hearing a completely different sound in the same product they had last week because no one really feels like it matters how they go about their job today.

4. Add value. If I'm going to buy my books in your store instead of from Amazon, find a way to put something into the experience or in the shopping bag that I won't get online. We're not talking about something that necessarily has to leave a dent your bottomline: a coupon, a sticker, a calendar, a handshake. Find a way to make shopping with you more valuable to me if you can't make it cheaper for me.

5. Think evangelism. My money isn't going as far as it used to, so like everyone else, you need to continually talk me into believing in you and supporting you. Each time you see me you're either deepening our relationship or you losing it. The tightness of my budget has me hyper-aware to what I'm getting and feeling and thinking about every dollar spent. Even if I don't show it, you and your employees are either winning me over every time I walk in or you're losing ground.

May the Links Be With You

2010-11-04T17:29:00.000-05:00

I've been seeing a bunch of Star Wars stuff flying across my monitor lately. I just thought I'd share the joy. You're welcome.

This video will have your kids rolling on the ground, especially if they know the original Star Wars story and can catch all the modifications and changes throughout the Lego video!

Want to make your car hyper-space worthy? Try this great sticker on the back of your vehicle (courtesy of IO9).

In the recently ended political season, one candidate featured Star Wars themed ads. I have idea if it was helpful, but it was a reminder that some folks have little to any sense about how to appropriately tap into cultural mythology.

Fantastic behind the scenes look at Empire Strikes Back. Great read - worth your time.

Some great archeology has discovered the invoice Boba Fett sent Jabba for the capture of noted smuggler-turned-scruffy-looking-nerf-herder, Han Solo. See it for yourself.

College football fans will remember this video which was as much spoof and advertisement suggesting that Admiral Ackbar be the new mascot for the Ole Miss Rebels. Perhaps some of the 'funny' on this is lost on those of you who have never visited Mississippi and can't taste the ironic feel this video has.

Feeling philosophical? Here are 5 questions from Star Wars that might keep you up at night?

Great papercraft retelling of Star Wars.

Awesome hand-made Millennium Falcon. Very cool.

Last, but not least, for the religiously curious, an interesting article with a retrospective insight into Evangelicism - that utilizes Star Wars as metaphor. Its an interesting read as well.

Brian Kelly Must Be Fired

2010-11-01T12:21:00.001-05:00

First, let's get the obvious, obligatory, "I'm not impartial" comment out of the way - I have no love for the Notre Dame Fighting Irish. For decades the semi-professional football program at Notre Dame has enjoyed all kinds of privilege and protection and free press that no one else in the country has received. I actually enjoy seeing someone, almost anyone, beating Notre Dame on any given weekend - not to mention relishing a local ball club like TU doing so. And its pretty much only in football that my angst exists. I don't think of myself as a 'hater' so much as a voice rallying against the entitlement and arrogance that ND football so freely exhibits.

Having said all that, regardless of my personal bias against the team, football head coach needs to lose his job. In fact, I find it deeply troubling and telling that he was on the sideline coaching against Tulsa on Saturday. I'm not the first to say this, and I'm sure I won't be the last.

This is really simple - Brian Kelly is responsible for the death of the student killed in the accident last Wednesday. He didn't cause the wind to blow, he didn't fail to offer aid, he didn't hold back caring about the student in general. But in the end, plain and simple, that student's safety was his both ultimately his responsibility and his ultimate responsibility.

If the manager at your favorite restaurant let one of their teenage kitchen staff operate dangerous equipment in a risky situation, and the student lost their life as a result, you'd expect the GM to walk in and fire that manager on the spot. If the principle of your local high school refused to let teachers evacuate those unsafe temporary shelters during a huge storm and a student was killed, you'd expect the school board to act before the end of the week, if not that very day. If the guy who owned the lawn service insisted the boys go into a yard where there was an unchained, unknown, angry pit bull foaming at the mouth, just looking for a leg to chomp, you'd have that business owner in court faster than Lindsey Lohan can get out of rehab again.

But Brian Kelly still has a job; Brian Kelly has failed in the worst way possible to protect the student athletes ~~being employed~~, enrolled at Notre Dame. Failing to keep a kid away from a party - disappointing. Failing to keep a student out of legal trouble - regrettable (or normal if your last name is Meyer). Failing to act responsibly with your students' lives - unacceptable. If this isn't a failure worthy of termination, what is?

Oh, wait, I know that answer. What we have here is a clear misunderstanding between goals and responsibilities. I completely understand that winning games is the primary agenda item for everyone in hiring their head football coach. And I get it. After all, I graduated from the University of Alabama that has made its own commitment to running obvious. Fine. All football programs want to win as many games as possible. I even understand a bit of the 'avoiding' of rules and guidelines around recruiting, practicing, play call scamming and the like.

Brian Kelly's goals is to win games. Good luck with that. But his primary responsibility above all else is the safety and welfare of students under his care. He admits he made the decision to practice outside and end up putting this student at risk. Someone else, like a ~~landshark~~ lawyer at Notre Dame might add a second primary responsibility to protect the best interest of the university. And just in case you think I'm reading something into his job that other's don't, here are the words of Ohio State coach Jim Tressel, less than 24 hours before the accident at ND:

“I don’t know if we’ll be inside or out,” Tressel told Ohio reporters 24 hours before the Notre Dame tragedy. “It looks a little nasty. I worry about our cameramen, their well-being up there 50 feet in the air.”

Brian Kelly is responsible. End of line. And his failure to say so in simple, clear, concise words is almost as troubling as the silence from Notre Dame itself.

And just in case you're reading this Brian - my blog is beloved by coaches nationwide - I want to say a word to you. My curiosity was stirred by your hiring. But all too quickly your time at Notre Dame should end, not because you can't recruit, or because your team is rebuilding or because of some legal code. You must be fired because you failed at something that is entirely about responsibility and accountability. We as people can't cut you any slack here, we can't look the other way and we can't be complacent. To do so would be to validate that winning is your only real responsibility - and its not.

I'm saddened that Declan Sullivan lost his life. I have read where his parents are comforted that he was able to enjoy attending the school of his dreams and be involved with something he treasured (ND football). But in the end, the person chiefly responsible for protecting this young man has failed that young man and his family. And now that university is failing students everywhere.

Ordaining Daniel

2010-10-18T10:14:00.000-05:00

Yesterday in our gathering at Rivendell, we ordained our friend Daniel Sharples as a pastor in our fellowship. It was a wonderful morning with a fair bit of liturgy (much of it borrowed from Grace and personalized) along with a fantastic time of community sharing and affirming of Daniel. It felt like the perfect blend of community worship, honest confirmation and sweet enjoyment together.

A few words for Daniel on the first day after:

I have worked with a number of folks who were finding their way into ministry and discovering God's call on their lives and it has always been an enjoyable process to be included in. Walking beside you as a friend in this has been so encouraging and refreshing. I marvel at how wise you are, how reflective you are and at your willingness to learn and grow. I am sure you heard over and over how deeply you are loved and appreciated by friends and family. You have demonstrated a wonderful ability to speak into people's lives in deep and tender ways through your availability, presence, listening, and candor.

Think of the ordination yesterday as the first or second mile marker on your journey in service to others. The race has started and have you gotten off to a wonderful start. Now, more than ever, Keep your eyes open for the road ahead will have all kinds of bramble, snares and difficulties ahead. There are things you are going to discover that you have to face about yourself, admit about the world in which live, confront about your expectations of life and bring to repentance. There will be difficult conversations to have, painful moments and seasons to sit through with people you love and essential stories to remind us of in Scripture. There will be moments you question your call, identity and even your faith.

But as you walk through any and all of that, remember yesterday. Remember what our community has told you about who we know you to be, who we know ourselves to be and what we've learned about God so far. Remember the work you've already done in coming to understand your faith and your ministry. And hold tightly to the words of the author of Hebrews who reminds us to "throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith."

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Near the end of our time together yesterday, I gave Daniel a charge to ministry based on the theology of call that he presented to us the previous week. Here's what I wrote:

Remind us that we are all called to join God on mission and that we can never again go back to ordinary, to routine existence. We can longer live as if God isn’t real, as if life is just biology, as if our choices don’t matter. In both your own life and in ours, push against selfishness, speak out against corruption and compromise, calling for lives lived worthy of the gospel. Challenge us to rethink what it means to live and to follow in the footsteps of a Savior who championed the cause of the oppressed, broke down barriers of division and segregation, who refused to be controlled by the Roman Empire and who chose to give life to others, even when it cost him his own. Remind us that as we have answered God’s call, as we pledged our lives to God, as we have tasted God’s goodness, we never want to go back.

Guide and encourage us in our journey with God. This journey we’re on is both ecstatic and exhausting, both grueling and gratifying. Sometimes our journey with God feels like a field trip, and sometimes much more like a wrestling match that will never end. We need hope to counter fear, compassion to cancel out anger, humility instead of entitlement, faithfulness greater than our sin. Push us forward, pour courage into us, and walk with us helping us carry the heaviest things life brings. As walk with God and wrestle with God, be our friend, guide and help.

Shape your life and ours into disciplines of worship and fellowship. Teach and train us to pray and read and listen for God’s voices with such a fervor it becomes a part of who we are. Help us move our lives into a posture of discernment and wisdom, into places and times where we can ask hard questions about ourselves, and question our theology. As a member of our fellowship, call us to lives lived in worship and communion and participation with God and with one another. Give us your willingness to listen, to learn and love deeply as acts of devotion to God.

I charge you, Daniel Sharples, to answer the call that God has placed on your life with courage and zeal, with faithfulness and humility, with all of your heart, all of your mind, all of your soul and all of your strength.

Insomnia: Good, Bad and Ugly

2010-10-15T11:07:00.000-05:00

I'm sure I've blogged before about my routine battle with insomnia. And unlike cool people such as Charles Dickens, Vincent Van Gough, Benjamin Franklin, Mark Twain and Margret Thatcher, I'm not very good at making my insomnia a tool for extra superhuman productivity. I've ranted and raved, complained and screamed, tried every home-spun remedy you've heard of and talked to three different doctors about it.

But, I've never tried to look at it in terms of pros v cons or good v bad. Let's try that.

10 things that are good about my insomnia:

10. I've gotten us ahead on time-consuming household chores (midnight laundry, empty the sink... so much for not being productive).
9. Extra time awake at night has let me catch-up on my absolute-must-see-before-I-die movie watch list. Latest entry crossed off: Pandorum. (Is it a bad sign that I actually enjoy Dennis Quaid, even in lame movies?)
8. The cat needs his cuddle time.
7. When the kids were infants, it meant I was already up when one of them started howling, crying, whatever. Now, when the kids are sick one of us is ready already up with plastic bag, wipes, meds, air freshener and Tylenol.
6. I have extra time to come up with very important ideas and thoughts for blogging and tweeting.
5. On the very rare occasion that my wife is woken up in the middle of the night by a particularly troubling dream, I am fully awake to hold her and offer comfort. And if that hasn't happened in recent days, the very rare middle of the night asteroid showers is cool.
4. I've never once watched The View. [If you clicked on that link, you deserve whatever you found there]
3. Craig Ferguson's show starts at midnight, just when I'm getting my second wind.
2. When the closing server or alarm company or someone drunk from work calls my phone at 1:30, they're not waking me up.
1. The family loves the unexpected Insomnia breakfasts.

Alright, now the other side. 10 things that are bad about having insomnia:

10. Mornings suck. a lot.
9. Most movies you watch at 2 am suck. And when there's a great one, there's really no one around to talk about it with other than Kritter. And he, like all cats, only participates in meaningful conversations on his terms.

8. Staying awake during meetings is difficult for anyone. Tack on the insomnia and its a losing proposition. This is especially annoying when I'm the one talking or teaching during said meeting.
7. Much to everyone's surprise, the more tired I am, the more irritable, cranky, cantankerous, moody, frustrated and/or ornery I become. I know, its hard to believe that stuff gets worse than normal... but...
6. Despite whatever good ideas I've had in the middle of the night, my memory, creativity, focus and discipline all disappear when I haven't slept. Fail.
5. I slept through the earthquake.
4. People who have never suffered with insomnia have no understanding or appreciation for the unique form of torture that it is. They are just sure if you'd just sit still, close your eyes or try a little harder you'd be sleeping just fine. So, of course, they assail you with every silly, ridiculous, useless bit of guaranteed remedy they can imagine. Further, they assume, if you can't sleep its because you are either doing something you shouldn't be or are deeply disturbed.
3. My wife, son, and occasionally my daughter, are all morning people. They like mornings. They wake up ready to roll, excited, lots to talk-about and happy. Missing this part of their day means missing a part of who they are.
2. The kids like the insomnia breakfasts because they really like breakfasts - especially on special days (like birthdays, big-test days, holidays and other days that end in 'y'). Being an insomniac, I have no appreciation for getting up early and doing anything that resembles working or cleaning.
1. When you finally nod off to lullaby-land at 4:30 am, there's almost no chance you're going to be even remotely conscious until (at best) 11 am, and more likely, noon:30. Which means a) you've already missed a third of the day and b) you're going to have an ugly time going to sleep again tonight.

Your Love is Better than Life

2010-10-12T12:54:00.000-05:00

One of the things that I have discovered over and over is amazing ways that the Psalms work in my life. When I'm reading through or praying through the Psalms I find myself being encouraging, challenged, rebuked and inspired. The Psalms leave me scratching my head, holding my heart or sometimes hiding my face. Again and again my faith is re-lit or renewed by these ancient, unpolished prayers. And I need this - more than I need to argue with Paul or to analyze the parables or to rethink the narratives of Israel, I need what the Psalms do inside me. Somehow, someway, I hear God's voice in them, in a way I can't usually quantify or clarify. The Psalms nudge or prod or lift or lighten me.

Today in our noontime prayer, we walked across Psalm 63. As I saw the words on the page I wanted to stop everything we were doing and just let these words was across my face. They are words that I can still hear ringing in my ears from my earliest days of faith in college; words that take me back to that early zeal and passion. I can remember my heart pounding so hard I though it would burst through my chest. I remember the days when I longed for loving God more than life itself, a time when bills, deadlines, expectations, regret and exhaustion didn't stand between me and devotion.

¹ O God, you are my God,
       earnestly I seek you;
       my soul thirsts for you,
       my body longs for you,
       in a dry and weary land
       where there is no water.
² I have seen you in the sanctuary
       and beheld your power and your glory.
³ Because your love is better than life,
       my lips will glorify you.
⁴ I will praise you as long as I live,
       and in your name I will lift up my hands.
⁵ My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
       with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
⁶ On my bed I remember you;
       I think of you through the watches of the night.
⁷ Because you are my help,
       I sing in the shadow of your wings.
⁸ My soul clings to you;
       your right hand upholds me.

2010-09-27T10:19:00.000-05:00

At Rivendell, we're taking some time to read and think through the book of 1st Samuel, and posting some of my notes here, just to keep thinking and talking about it after Sunday. I've also recorded some thoughts here (from earlier in the book) and here (most recently).

From 1 Samuel 4-7 there is this amazing story that for a moment leaves behind the primary narrative and follows the movement of Ark as it is captured, enshrined, feared and then released back into its native habitat. Its an amazing tale about God's presence among different people. Its a great read. If you open up your Bible, watch the Philistines and see everything they do in response to the power of God showing up in their midst.

After the Ark has had its Tour de Force in the land of the Philistines and has made its way home, Samuel calls the people together and calls them to a repentance and re-commitment to God alone. Apparently, again, Israel has added to their worship of the Lord, practices around worship of Ashtoreth and Baal (both are connected with fertility rites, and Baal worship also is connected with seasonal changes and rituals for bringing rain).

I find myself thinking about how easily faith deteriorates into religious superstition. Israel survives the plagues of Egypt, escapes the reign of the Almighty Pharaoh, finally by crossing the Red Sea, conquers their enemies in the Canaan, all the by the Hand of the God of the Angel Armies. But then, when times are tough, or when rain in scarce or when children are wanted, they turn to local stories and myths and empty-promise totems. The profess a great faith in YHWH, but then reduce the symbols of God’s mystery and power into a kind of rabbit’s foot and forget what it means to fear the Lord.

Over and over Israel has to learn and relearn what it means to serve the Lord alone. And we who would chastise them for not seeing the obvious are rarely honest with ourselves about the ways our schedules, checkbooks, passions and lifestyles reveal all kinds of idols and competing worship going on. We too drift into incorporating all kinds of superstitions and lucky charms into our daily routine in order to get "a leg up" on life and situations and whatever dream occupies our hearts at the moment.

Part of what happens in Israel is Syncretism. Syncretism is the attempt to reconcile disparate or contrary beliefs, often while melding practices of various schools of thought.

In our daily lives filled with creativity, information overload and often spurred by fear of what the future may bring we start reaching out and grabbing hold of anything that promises us help, security, power or control over the elements.

Takeaway 1: As I think about the narrative of the Ark in the land of the Philistines, and the very fact that God allows the Ark itself to be captured, I'm reminded that God alone knows and controls how God’s hand moves. Despite our assumptions to the contrary, God in this narrative acts quite freely outside of human control or against human will. Here is the hand of the Lord at work without the mediation of any human agent, and the enemies of God are rendered handless (the Philistine god/idol Dago) and helpless (the Philistine towns). It is remarkable for Scripture to feature a story in which human characters play no role at all in the course of events. The absence of human characters in the drama of the ark story may serve as a reminder of the ultimate reality of divine power when royal power gets under way.

It can serve as a reminder to us as well. Not everything is up to us or about our will or desire. We live in a society frequently tempted to worship human power, and perhaps with good cause. Our reach is amazingly great - mastering the science of the atom, harnessing great forces of nature, delving deeply into the understandings of medicine, chemistry and history. We do amazing things, often amazingly harmful things. Yet with everything we've learned and mastered, we have no control over God. We can no more determine the will or movement of God than we can unmake the mistakes of our past. In fact, not only can we not control the hand of God, we can't be trusted with such might. In our worst moments, our greatest power has been used in awful ways.

In the church we often act or speak in ways that seem to hint that we know what God is doing, that we are capable of controlling, or at least directing, God's work. It sounds frequently that we think God's grace is dependent on our efforts. There's a theological term for this kind of thinking: Hogwash. We need the reminder of this ark story that the hand of God is constantly at work exposing the idols in our midst as impotent and directing us to real power in the divine purposes at work in the world.

Belief in God may start as very simplistic or idealistic. We may see God as a magic rabbit’s foot or as a treasure map. But such views are at best over-simplifications and distorted; at worst they reveal our willingness to use religion as a means of control and power for our own agenda.

Takeaway 2: Faith has to grow and mature over time. Trust takes time to build and develop in human relationships and with God. One of the keys to a growing faith and trust in discernment. God’s purposes went forward according to God’s plan. Those who fail to discern what God is doing and insist on trying to control God’s power for their own plan court disaster. Lives of faith lived in respect for God’s freedom are lives of discernment. We seek to discern what God is doing in the world and align our efforts to God’s. The tendency of the church is to think it is incumbent on God to follow our carefully laid plans. We must scan the horizon, seeking to discern God at work in people, movements, events, and programs that make for wholeness, justice, and love. To our surprise we may sometimes find testimony to God at work in the mouths of those we thought were Philistines.

As we start to admit and to repent of our trust in fear and longing for control, we learn to take a step back, to look and listen for the ways and movement of God in the world and people around us. We are reminded that God acts in ways both dramatic and secret, both in what we see and what we never know. We remember how God has acted in the past and learn to put our trust not necessarily in what we see God doing or not doing, but instead to trust who we know God to be. Perhaps, in the end, the Philistines ironically modeled the proper response. They sought to understand God’s activity in their own time by remembering what God had done before. It was the Philistines who called to mind the exodus-shaped activity of God. They gave God gifts that suggested honor and respect for God’s holiness and power. They acknowledged the freedom of God by allowing the ark to make its own way toward its own future—and they followed. Maybe their only real mistake at this point was that they eventually turned back.

Thoughts from 1 Samuel

2010-09-27T09:55:00.000-05:00

At Rivendell we're walking through 1st Samuel. Its one of those books of the Bible that I think people assume they know because they've heard the stories of Hannah and Samuel and of King Saul, but I suspect they've not read very closely. And part of that is probably due to the fact, its rough sledding for a preacher. The stories here are really interesting, but not always 'neat' or easy. They don't fit into an easy 10 minute description where the good guys and bad guys are easy to identify. These are quick, simple moralistic tales that can be reduced into three points for keeping your marriage together or how to raise perfect kids in the suburb. So, I expect lots of preachers and Bible teachers talk about the stories I mentioned before and then jump ahead to King David (who has all kinds of issues, right?)

The lessons learned in 1st Samuel are lessons learned by a people stuck in an in-between time, a people having to relearn who they are, who God is and who are wrestling deeply with 'where do we go from here?' In that sense, I find these to be very compelling and really important to talk about. My hope is that by reading through and talking through these stories we can develop discernment and deepen our willingness to trust God and one another.

I'm going to post a few of my notes from 1st Samuel. These are by no means most of my notes, nor are they covering everything we've talked about. But these are a few insights that I find still present with us and I that I find very formative and meaningful.

- Hannah’s suffering is very personal, but also very public. Everyone who is in or around her family can figure out that she’s not having children.

- Some commentators/Rabbis see a symbolism in what she’s facing. They see the story of infertility as a reminder of the absence of God’s presence and blessing in relation to the sons of Eli and their sins as mediators of the people.

o Question gets asked – how can God speak to and move amongst a people when those who represent them before God show a face and life of evil, of unbelief?

o In her cry out of to God, Hannah sounds like she knows that God hasn’t been able to see her for whatever reason. She cries out – “remember your servant…”

- Hannah’s character stands in stark contrast to that of those in leadership over her. Hannah is keenly aware of what is going on, feeling the pain personally where the Old, semi-retired Priest doesn’t seem to. Hannah is showing a desperation-fed courage that is second to none – daring to approach the Tabernacle, breaking tradition and ritual as she prays, quietly in heart, doing anything she can to prod and beg and ask God. Her vow sounds like someone willing to go as far as humanly possible to show the sincerity of her desire and the depth of her faithfulness to God – which again stands out over and against the failed-willed of the Priests Hophni and Phineas.

- Where others won’t act boldly and desperately in faith, Hannah will. Where are other voices of Israel, crying out against the suffering and betrayal of their day?

After Samuel is born, Hannah shares with us this beautiful prayer that is both symbolic and prophetic. It carries in it an amazing gift of faith – of believing in a God who has been decidedly silent in recent days.

- She prays for deliverance and hope.
- She speaks about the power of God above all other powers
- She talks about God knowing and judging all deeds What makes this compelling is that she is, whether directly or indirectly, speaking to and about her own context and against the wickedness and failure of her own leaders and powers. God alone is Holy, God sees all deeds, Those in power will be defeated, the suffering will be exalted. God is the source of it all. This is an astounding statement of faith coming from someone who is represented by two men live in such an opposite way.

- It reminds us that change, renewal, redemption and liberation must begin both with God and with us. Hannah may not be able to correct or even fully understand the failure of the sons of Eli as Priests. But she can call on God for help, she can claim the promises and nature of God over and against the evil of these powers that be. She stands faithful to God in the midst of their unfaithfulness and she can demand change. She can raise a voice in a time of silence. When God isn’t speaking, she is. This is a different kind of response in a time of suffering. She’s not passive, she’s active. She’s not looking around, she’s blazing forward. She’s not looking for support, she’s desperately risking everything.

Hannah’s prayer is a doxology for the people of God then and today.

o The status quo, the power held over the people carries with it real responsibility
o That in the role of standing before God on behalf of the people there is never room for standing in the way of God and the people.
o Those of us who are the priests – which according to 1 Peter is everyone who calls themselves the church carry responsibility for the people and for the world - we have a greater responsibility beyond our own happiness or satisfaction and certainly beyond any sense of immediate gratification.
o Hannah’s doxology reminds us hope and trust in God is a very authentic stance for the church toward the world. That hope is valid, even when we can’t see the form that hope should take or how it could yet be realized.

When one woman's suffering is a plea and model for liberation

2010-09-14T22:08:00.000-05:00

I've posted a podcast of some thoughts about the first two chapters of 1 Samuel. They're kind of a collection of thoughts, observations and pieces gathered as background for the first couple of sessions of our new teaching series at Rivendell, Epic Lives.

The podcast itself can be heard at this link on talkshoe.com

If you're an i-tunes kind of person, here's a link for subscribing on i-tunes (assuming there will be future installments)

I'm going to paste here the general notes that I followed as I recorded the podcast. I've tried to include at least something of a bibliography.

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Where we’ve come from: Exodus / desert wandering / promised land / Joshua thru Judges

Story rests at Judges 21:25 – “In those days Israel had no king; everyone did as he saw fit.” (actually shows up more often than just that one mention - see this link) >

God’s project of the people Israel at a crossroads.
Time of change: Tribes of people changing into a nation; leadership moving from priestly to prophetic.

Shiloh. The tent of meeting – the place where the people go to discover the Holy, the ‘camping site’ of the Ark of the Covenant is in Shiloh. Settled in Joshua 18.
But the Israelites will never really establish the land as a place governed by the ways and will of God. God will be worshiped, religion will be practiced and good things will be done, but never will the dream be fully realized. Shiloh will be an outpost and a symbol, but will always have the feel of something temporary and transitory. Serves almost as a reminder that none of this is fully realized yet. Shiloh itself is fairly secluded. One historian describes it as terribly featureless and ordinary.

And in the midst of Shiloh’s and the people’s compromises on God’s call on their lives, their willingness to not completely give themselves over to God’s call and command on their lives, they settle for a fairly ordinary experience of life. Where God has called Israel to be a lighthouse to the nations, they struggle to keep their candle burning in the midst of their struggles with greed, corruption and idolatry.

The situation of Elkanah, Hannah and Penniah - a man with two wives?

- Two wives - The Rabbis relate that Hannah was Elkanah’s first wife. Only after he saw that she had not borne any children during their first ten years of marriage did he marry Peninnah (Pesikta Rabbati 43). The Mishnah rules that if a couple has been married for ten years without having any children, the husband is obligated to take another (or additional) wife, in order to fulfill the commandment to be fruitful and multiply (M Yevamot 6:6). The midrash maintains that Elkanah was compelled to marry Peninnah because of Hannah’s barrenness, thus explaining his preference for Hannah, his first wife. [http://jwa.org/encyclopedia/article/hannah-midrash-and-aggadah]

- There’s a fair bit of ‘doubling’ language in this story. Not only are there double wives, but there are double emotions and compound feelings going on inside of Hannah (and the reader). And there is repetition of emotions, passions and efforts. The magnitude of Peninnah’s vexing of Hannah is matched by the depth of the latter’s weeping, which explains the intensity of Hannah’s prayer and the vow that she took at Shiloh (Midrash Samuel 1:9).

Eli the Priest

- Older. His eyes are dim. This isn’t just a description of a need for lasic surgery. This is a statement about his sharpness, perception and vision of the world (Think of Isaac who can’t distinguish between Jacob and Esau).

o Eli’s sons are wicked – children of belial. They are rebelling and abusing their position of authority and responsibility

§ Taking the best part of the sacrifice from the people, before they even make their offering

§ Seducing (if not out-right raping) the women who serve in the Tabernacle

§ Their actions say loudly and clearly – they have no trust in God, no confidence in the reality of God. They have no worries, no fear of what God will do or how God might respond. They live for themselves, for the moment, for their satisfaction, for their own greed and gain.

§ They have no faith in the God who called Abraham to bind his son, who carried Joseph into Egypt the God of the Exodus, of the God at Jericho.

§ This is an Epic Fail. Their failures as leaders isn’t just a failure to live up to the calling they’ve received or up to the examples of their forebearers. Their failure, one way or another impacts everyone else in Israel.

o The character and heart and actions of those who lead matters. Who the leaders are before God and amongst the people says something significant about who the people will be and hints at what our future could hold.

§ We know this in the church. Good-hearted, well-meaning believers spend years of their lives settling for something less than the kind of radical discipleship to which we are called because those we choose to follow are willing to compromise, willing to settle for something less

· For political reasons

· To pay the bills

· To leave room for other pet sin projects

· To try not to leave anyone out

§ Elkanah and Hannah suffer under the influence/responsibility of these leaders. Consider the plight of Hannah. She is longing to bear children. She hungers for the touch of God on her womb. And who is there to represent her before God, to plead her case and the case of countless other Jews before the Almighty God? Who? No one except for corrupt, wicked children of a priest with dimming eyes and a diminished vision for and amongst his people.

- Hannah’s plea and cry out to God is set in and around a meal practice. Again and again we see holy moments happening in and around meals.

o Eating and drinking are far more holy enterprises that I think we realize.

o Sitting together around a table or around a campfire is a holy moment.

o What we do with these moments, how deeply we engage one another, how genuinely we interact or how shallowly and selfishly we act matters more than we acknowledge.

§ Think of how your heart aches for the kid in the lunch room who eats alone. Your heart doesn’t hurt because his food might not taste as good – you ache because he will feel alone and because you know how that might influence his attitudes about himself and his future. You know that feeling and how overpowering and dream-shattering loneliness can truly be.

§ You and I know how big a deal it is to be invited over to dinner. We sense it the first time we’re given that invitation.

· What will we talk about?

· What if I don’t fit in?

· What if I don’t know how to act?

· Issues of belonging, worth, significance, acceptance are all at stake.

o Eating and drink, being at meals are about acceptance, self-worth, bonds of friendship, belonging. All of these are tied to worship, discipleship and living out the faith as part of the community of God.

o Think of Jesus eating and drinking

§ With sinners and people of ill-repute

§ As a means of including people in the mission of God

§ As a means of symbolizing their welcoming and blessing in the KOG

o Think of Paul and his demands upon the early church

§ Jews and Gentiles at the table together

§ The role of the Lord’s Supper and eating together in worship

o We play down the role of meals and eating together because we live so shallowly and see only this moment, this immediate reward or cost.

- Hannah’s story starts the narrative – and colors the way we will see and hear everything that follows.Hannah’s suffering is very personal, but also very public. Everyone who is in or around her family can figure out that she’s not having children.

- Some commentators/Rabbis see a symbolism in what she’s facing. They see the story of infertility as a reminder of the absence of God’s presence and blessing in relation to the sons of Eli and their sins as mediators of the people.

o Question gets asked – how can God speak to and move amongst a people when those who represent them before God show a face and life of evil, of unbelief?

o In her cry out of to God, Hannah sounds like she knows that God hasn’t been able to see her for whatever reason. She cries out – “remember your servant…”

- Hannah’s character stands in stark contrast to that of those in leadership over her.

o Hannah is keenly aware of what is going on, feeling the pain personally where the Old, semi-retired Priest doesn’t seem to.

o Hannah is showing a desperation-fed courage that is second to none – daring to approach the Tabernacle, breaking tradition and ritual as she prays, quietly in heart, doing anything she can to prod and beg and ask God.

o Her vow sounds like someone willing to go as far as humanly possible to show the sincerity of her desire and the depth of her faithfulness to God – which again stands out over and against the failed-willed of the Priests Hophni and Fineas.

o Where others won’t act boldly and desperately in faith, Hannah will.

After Samuel is born, Hannah shares with us this beautiful prayer that is both symbolic and prophetic. It carries in it an amazing gift of faith – of believing in a God who has been decidedly silent in recent days.
She prays for:

deliverance and hope.
about the power of God above all other powers
about God knowing and judging all deeds

- What makes this compelling is that she is, whether directly or indirectly, speaking to and about her own context and against the wickedness and failure of her own leaders and powers

o God alone is Holy, God sees all deeds, Those in power will be defeated, the suffering will be exalted. God is the source of it all.

o This is an astounding statement of faith coming from someone who is represented by two men live in such an opposite way.

o It reminds us that change, renewal, redemption and liberation must begin both with God and with us. Hannah may not be able to correct or even fully understand the failure of the sons of Eli as Priests. But she can call on God for help, she can claim the promises and nature of God over and against the evil of these powers that be. She stand faithful to God in the midst of their unfaithfulness and she can demand change. She can raise a voice in a time of silence. When God isn’t speaking, she is.

Hannah’s prayer is a doxology for the people of God then and today.

o The status quo, the power held over the people carries with it real responsibility

o That in the role of standing before God on behalf of the people there is never room for standing in the way of God and the people.

o Those of us who are the priests – which according to 1 Peter is everyone who calls themselves the church carry responsibility for the people and for the world - we have a greater responsibility beyond our own happiness or satisfaction and certainly beyond any sense of immediate gratification.

o Hannah’s doxology reminds us hope and trust in God is a very authentic stance for the church toward the world. That hope is valid, even when we can’t see the form that hope should take or how it could yet be realized.

As Samuel begins his life of training and apprenticeship in Eli’s house, Scripture says he begins to “grow in the Lord.” Such a statement is never made about Eli’s children – and stands in sharp contrast to Eli’s diminishing. Samuel grows as Eli dims.

- Even as there is cause to despair, even as darkness begins to set in, God is birthing new hope.

- Hannah’s prayer reminds us again – God is doing revolutionary work in the world, bringing about a change that will depend again on our faith and faithfulness. God will bless the humble and work the ways of the proud and arrogant.

- Epic lives are being born, even amongst those who have settled for something so much less than what God has offered.

Some sites and sources:
http://www.tikkun.org/
http://www.torah.org
http://www.jewishencyclopedia.com
http://www.bible.org - including this particular article, and this article about the sins of the sons of belial.

Now That's a Fool

2010-09-13T00:42:00.000-05:00

What is it called when you know what you ought to do and you don't do it?

Procrastination?
Laziness?
Distractedness?
Carelessness?

Maybe. But above all those, Scripture calls it something else. When you know what you ought to do, something important, meaningful, worthwhile, and you don't do it, Scriptures calls it foolish. A fool knows what they ought to do, and for whatever reason, won't do it.

For the waywardness of the simple will kill them, and the complacency of fools will destroy them; Proverbs 1:32

Fools fold their hands and ruin themselves. Ecclesiastes 4:5

But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. Matthew 7:26

And I thought I was just a little lazy. Ouch.

Need a Moment?

2010-08-23T11:16:00.000-05:00

Great little moment of a blog post about taking a breath and feeling a whip of fresh wind to refresh you. I like it, and not just because it mentions Rivendell (the book, not our community).

How to Reboot Your Spirit

ht to Don miller

Engaged

2010-08-06T14:09:00.000-05:00

I've really come to enjoy the writing of business analyst and author Daniel Pink. Years back someone gave me a copy of his book, A Whole New Mind.

I didn't read it right away because I have a pile of 'to-read' books taller than my children in the study. But, when I heard my friend Blake Ewing referring to it in his business, I decided it was time to move it up the list.

That first book I read by Daniel Pink opened my eyes to all kinds of elements of leadership and thinking about how to get things done, how to organize and how I work best that were affirming and empowering. So, when I saw his name on the list of speakers at the Leadership Summit, I was excited.

Pink was talking about what really motives us, based on his research and writing in a new book, Drive. Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us

Here is a selection of my notes from his talk. It won't be nearly as meaningful without him, but, hey, its not like you paid for the seminar. Enjoy.

Daniel Pink

Newest book - Drive.

Human motivation has three drives. The first two are obvious.
1. biological drive
2. reward and punishment drive.
3. engagement

We try to manage everything at these two drives. Control the biological, and then reward and punish for success. We know this doesn’t influence performance as much as we think. Punishment / reward (if/then) rewards work on simple, easy, physical tasks. But they fail to motivate if the task/job is more complex. If/then rewards create tunnel vision and demonstratively fail when creativity, problem solving, multi-tasking are required.

We make wrong assumptions inside our organizations which lead us to the wrong conclusions:

We assume people are machines. We assume if we move the right levers in the right ways they respond the way we want/expect/need. Human beings are far more complex than that.
We assume human beings are ‘blobs.’ We assume people are basically passive and inert. We assume that human nature is bored, disengaged and uncaring.

Try to find a 2-year-old who is not engaged and active?
Our default setting is to be active and engaged. We ‘ship from the factory’ to be active and engaged.

What does work?

3 key elements for enduring motivation:

1. Autonomy
2. Mastery
3. Purpose

Automony
Management - based on technology from 1850s? Management is designed to get compliance. We don’t want compliance. Our organizations are too complex. We need engagement. Self-direction leads to engagement.

Ask people about their best boss - they talk about the one who created the most self-direction.
Think of google telling people to spend their 20% of their time working on something personal - which gives us things like Google News, Gmail, etc...

If you want people to be more self-directed, create scaffolding - something to stand on while you’re working in a different direction. Give people an afternoon a week to do some cool individual projects they think will benefit the organization or the customer base.

Mastery

Playing the bassoon on the weekend doesn’t satisfy the biological drive or the economic drive. Why are they doing it? Because it is fun and meaningful as you get better and better at it. Mastery becomes a powerful motivation.

Harvard research finds the single greatest motivator at work is making progress. The days where people feel they are getting better, making progress - these are the days they felt most loyal, most contributing and most motivating.

Flow - those delicious moments in our life where the challenges and performances of our lives go beyond the measurement of time. Time stands still. We feel this, surprisingly, much more at work than in leisure because leisure is so passive.

Key aspect for mastery is feedback. Feedback lets us know we are showing mastery. Rich, robust feedback births passion and opportunity for mastery. How can we cultivate meaningful, helpful, safe opportunities for regular, timely feedback?

Purpose

The limits of the profit motive are very real. Profit helps to foster efficiency and productivity in real ways. But the profit motive has its limit. When the profit motive becomes unmoored from the purpose motive - bad things happen - both ethically and in terms of mediocrity.

Businesses are learning they have to borrow from the social sector. The only people will be truly motivated by more than profit - they need purpose.

When people describe their organization/business they are working for - what pronouns do they use? Do they use “we” or “they”? We people have high ownership and are almost always high performers. They people are isolated, minimized and not nearly as engaged.

Anything good in life begins with a conversation. Every great romance, social movement, great business, great dream began with a conversation.

Human beings who want to tap that third drive - the drive of engagement - begin with a conversation.

Rule #1 Never Mention...

2010-07-26T12:28:00.001-05:00

Jane Austin + Fight Club = Great Video

Sensitive Language

2010-07-19T23:47:00.000-05:00

I've been in Texas with my family to say goodbye to my Aunt who passed away last week. Certainly the time together has been the kind of mixed celebration that you'd expect. Our family has been able to connect with my mother's side of the tree in way that's far too absent over the years.

When you get together at these kinds of events you find yourself reflecting and thinking in ways that are perhaps a little different from your ordinary life. The past few days I've found myself surprising sensitive at some of the vocabulary and phrasing that is so common in our language. I don't know that I've ever noticed how casually and flippantly we use the language of death and dying every day.

feeling dead-dog tired

getting something done at the drop-dead point

working the graveyard shift

that's a killer new app

And there are plenty more.

I've just found myself wincing as these words have come flying, especially out of my own mouth. I'm not suggesting that its somehow immoral or unkind to have this in our language. I just think we're not attentive to how much of it we have - or how tender we all can be at any given moment.

Country Roads

2010-07-17T15:37:00.000-05:00

After the memorial for Aunt Libby, we went to lunch at the infamous Salt Lick BBQ joint, outside of Austin. After lunch, I rode with my brother back to San Antonio. But, instead of trying to figure things out ahead of time, we decided to play 'guess which way' as we just drove around the Hill Country. The logic was simple - we're surrounded by major highways whichever way we go, so, let's just see what happens.

We had ourselves a nice, leisurely drive through the country, talking about everything under the sun. It was pretty relaxing. In the end, here's the route we ended up taking:

View Larger Map

The Toughness Test

2010-07-13T22:38:00.000-05:00

Oh sure, anyone can be tough and courageous and strong willed when they are facing enemy fire or or in a knife-fight. But it takes Toronto's finest cops to be tough when they are being threatened by someone blowing bubbles.

Now, just an honesty check - I know nothing about this incident other than what is on the video, or anything about the folks who produced it. And we all know that what you see on video is not always (if ever) the whole story. And, on top of that, I suspect that this young woman in some sense expected to or may have even wanted to be arrested since she appears to have been present as a political protester with a message to send.

But when the male police officer starts to speak in that 'do that and die' tone something just knotted up in my stomach. I understand having tough standards and a strong stance in highly turbulent situations (like the G-20 Summit in Toronto). But there's something way out of control on this.

When Avarice Gets its 15 Minutes

2010-07-09T14:39:00.000-05:00

I was sick of the "Where's Waldo - LeBron James edition" before it ever started. Its no secret I'm not a big fan of professional basketball. College ball, I enjoy. Those kids play with their hearts on their sleeves and with a fervor and passion that is second to none. But somehow the NBA manages to convert the best players into a farm system for arrogance, indignance and conceit. And I think this is a fairly recent turn, probably in the last 15 years or so. Early in his career Michael Jordan had a swagger and a pride, but it seemed kept in check by a passion to win, a willingness to be part of a larger team and an awareness that he genuinely benefited from the contribution of others. Maybe some of that started to fade at the end of his career. But there's not even a glimmer of it in today's NBA 'superstars.' The league itself reeks of endless self-promotion, constant preening and continual glory-hounding. The current NBA feels more individualistic than tennis or golf, and that's saying something.

Of course you don't need proof. You saw the 60 minutes of infamy pretending to be entertainment that was the LeBron hour this week. And if you didn't see, you've heard about it, probably endlessly from talking heads and goof-ball bloggers (like me).

However, I'm fairly convinced that the embarrassment that all this has become is not just the fault of the players. Self-serving agents and promoters have stains on their hands. Journalists and the media have provided plenty of fuel for the drive (I think someone at ESPN owes us an honest apology). The advertisers have had their hands on the wheel too, just as the fans themselves have for playing along. And of course the owners themselves have plenty of culpability too.

I really liked this article by Adrian Wojnarowski of Yahoo! Sports, he hits the tone dead-on. Here are just a couple quotes that will give you a sample. Click through for the whole article.

LeBron James can never go home now. He’s the Browns leaving town, The Fumble, The Shot, all rolled into one colossal disappointment.

Someday, (LeBron) will fire his business manager Maverick Carter for turning the two-time MVP’s free-agent moment into Geraldo and Al Capone’s vault. Carter used the cover of charity for a historically horrible event and completely destroyed the credibility of his client.

No one contributed more to what the world witnessed on Thursday night than the owner’s enabling of James and his inner circle for seven years. Gilbert is the biggest con going, a man who makes his fortune peddling mortgages, and he’ll make his next on casinos in downtown Cleveland. He sells illusions for a living, and now he’s selling the biggest of all: that he’s a victim here, that James betrayed everyone. That’s a lie, and no one ought to dare buy it.

What's going on here, this circus of shame, is entirely what happens when you give avarice its 15 minutes of fame. I don't care who has told you otherwise, greed is not good.

Firefly Opening Credits Redux

2010-07-09T08:40:00.000-05:00

Worth your time!

Here is a brand new fan-created opening credit sequence for Firefly.

Harry Potter vs Twilight

2010-07-08T18:29:00.001-05:00

I was in youth ministry when the first Harry Potter book broke onto the scene. And there were plenty of voices of parents, pastors and advocates screaming against the promotion of evil and demanding that no one let their children dive into a book that centers around a practice that Scripture directly condemns.

And, in all honesty, a part of me is still a little uncomfortable with the magic in Potter, particularly in the films rather than the books. But then again, what is "the force" in Star Wars if not magic, right? And what kid doesn't imagine or dream about having some kind of amazing power or a being able to conjure up light in a moment of darkness? And I find that same part of me uncomfortable with the 'gods' in Percy Jackson and even with the super-hero worship that shows up in other places in our society.

But the whole Twilight thing has bothered me more - in ways I haven't been able to put into words (outside of the annoying tween-girl craze that gets picked upon and repeated by Moms pining for the days of the their youth). Well, thank goodness Stephen King, who uses words much better, has said it for me.

"Harry Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend."

Tell Me a Story

2010-07-06T12:55:00.000-05:00

We're starting a new summer adventure in our gathering with Rivendell this Sunday. Eight different folks from our fellowship are going to take a turn telling us a story, or more appropriately, a part of the story of Scripture. We're borrowing much of this from Leslie Newbigin's little book, A Walk Through the Bible. I'm excited about people hearing the Bible as a story - I think that helps folks connect with the narrative more and start to see Scripture from a larger perspective.

Given that, I'm even more excited about different people sharing each week. I love it when the people of our community jump in and bring something with them to share. My favorite times of worship are almost always connected to those moments. Whether its 9 different people helping us experience something of the plagues that God sent against Pharoah, or people are sharing music, art or poetry, or just their own story, as we did last Sunday at our picnic.

This is going to be fun. Join us Sunday mornings - we have breakfast at 10:30. Music usually starts somewhere around 11.

Being both the sinner and the saint

2010-06-05T17:56:00.000-05:00

There are times in life when you are reminded clearly and simply that none of us gets the luxury or the simplicity of being just a saint or only a sinner. We are both, all the time. I tend to think of those labels as fairly useless, except when the remind me of the kind of story I am telling and writing with my life.

The label 'sinner' reminds me that my story is often one of not being the kind of person I long to be or highlights moments that my choices have consequences in my life and the lives of others that I never intended and deeply regret. The moments in my life that I may label 'saint' help me pay attention to the fact that those mistakes and failures do not have the final word on my life and that my story is also one of hope, encouragement and faithfulness.

I was reminded of both very directly Friday night.

My wife was heading to Kansas City for the weekend to help her younger sister celebrate a 40th birthday. The rest of the family already had some commitments when we learned about the party, so we decided that Cathy would head north in the newer (and more road-worthy) of our cars. I filled up the tank, checked the oil, printed her maps, etc, doing everything to get her ready to go. I reminded her of the frequent small towns and lower speed limits along the highway. She left town about 2:15. At 4:15 she was calling me with a brokenness in her voice. She had been pulled over in Coffeyville for speeding - she had misread the speed limit between two towns heading north. But the worst news, the reason for the call and for the tremor in her voice, was that our tag (liscence plate) was out of date - out of date enough that the Sherriff's Deputy was having our vehicle towed away and held by the wrecker until we could prove we had renewed it.

Suddenly, I feel like a failure. I pay the bills, I drive that car more often than not and I had no idea the tag was out of date at all, much less more than six months (about which the deputy was wrong, it was 5 months and 4 days out of date, but I digress...) Suddenly, my wife is stranded in Coffeyville, Kansas, having to ride in the back of a deputy's car, sitting around at the police station, unable to go to Kansas City because her husband doesn't realize the car he drives every day is so out of date in it's registration.

Immediately, I want to fix the problem. It's 4:30 on Friday - if I don't get this resolved within an hour, the car could be locked up for the whole weekend and she's got no chance to get to KC. And I'm stuck in Broken Arrow, trying to figure out how to make something happen. I'm already exhausted from not sleeping, I'm stuck on unfamiliar roads trying to find a drop-off point for the other child, can't figure out how I'm going to get a new copy of the auto insurance for that vehicle when I'm an hour away from home and still make it to the tag agency on time. I'm thinking aloud, audibly frustrated, yelling at the ever-changing names of streets in Broken Arrow, slamming my fist on the dash - and all the while upsetting my innocent daughter sitting next to me. The tears running down her cheek remind me even more how I continue to hurt others even when I'm trying to fix or help. "Sinner" again.

I finally reach the Reasor's where I'm dropping off my daughter, right next to a branch of Robertson Tire. Robertson. I have friends who work for that company. In act of humility and desperation, I dash into the tire shop and beg a guy to help me - to let me access the internet and to print a piece of paper. Either I had 'schmuck' written loudly on my forehead or this guy had an extra measure of grace, because I think 9 out of 10 business I might have tried would have sent me packing, but instead, he pointed me to an open computer. Within a minute I had a copy of my insurance and the address of a nearby tag agency (who had trouble giving me directions because even people who work in BA can't explain the street names or why that town gave up the Tulsa Grid!). And then in 10 minutes I had a sticker and a receipt to put on the car, still sitting in someone's tow-yard in Coffeyville.

With a lot of help from the Google-maps on my I-phone I was in Independence, Kansas by 7:15 showing the sherriff's dispatcher my proof of current registration and 45 minutes later I was pulling up to the police station in Coffeyville to pick up Mrs. Meador. As I drove up, I saw her sitting on a piller outside the station with her suitcase, purse and laptop. Up to this point I had been emotinally steaming and bouncing around between being angry at myself for such an epic failure on the tag, angry at her for misreading the speed limit and getting pulled over at all, angry at the state of Kansas for having such an over-aggressive response to rediculously simple transgression and angry at any Deputy that would have an out of state car towed and strand a woman without transportation in a samll town -and angry at the tow agent himself because I had learned we had to pay him $96.50 to tow our car across Coffeyville (think across downtown Tulsa).

But within 10 seconds, I knew my wife needed something else from me. From the way she moved to the car, the sound of her voice and the look in her eye, I knew that this experience had taken a lot of out of her. She had probably been angry at herself, was clearly angry and wounded by her experience in this town, felt embaressed at having to ride in the back of the sherriff's car and she had almost no strength left. This woman who can put me in place in seconds, who can walk a child with ADHD on steroids through simple tasks, who can mow the lawn, cook dinner and pack for a trip all in an hour, who can face down 30 kindergardners on their worst day was now running on empty.

'Ezer. From Genesis my wife and I teach young couples that entering into marriage means become an 'Ezer to your mate - one who is crafted by God to become a holy helper to the other. Immediately, I know what she needs from me. I hold her, I tell her I'm sorry for all of it. I drive her to get the car out of bondage, I put the new sticker on the tag, I pay the guy with a smile on my face. I take her to town, get her to smile, remind her that she is loved. My job in that moment is act as God's hands of compassion and grace. Not to moan about the system, complain about the law's undue hardship on citizens, not to fuss at her or myself. She doesn't need my anger, my self-pity, my angst or my complaints. She needs courage, thoughtfulness and kindness - sure, stuff I'm not terribly good at - but that because of her and others, I am capble of giving.

I find it much easier to think of myself as a sinner. And I have all kinds of reminders and proof of the annoyance, grief, harm, and hurt that shown up in other's lives because of decisions I have made or forgotten to make, or avoided making. But last night as I stood in that parking lot hugging my wife after dinner I was reminded that the label sinner wasn't all that I am. That because of the kindness and grace that God has poured into my life, I have moments that I live into being more of the man I long to be. And I'm grateful for those moments, few as they may be.

Firefly

2010-06-02T00:49:00.000-05:00

I am for the second time working my way through the 14 episodes of the 2002 television series Firefly.

For the record, whoever made the decision to pull the plug on this series - and you know who you are - I have a message for you:
You stink. Badly.

The Long-Forgotten Links

2010-06-01T00:01:00.000-05:00

Its been a long time since I shared some links with you. In honor of cultivating creativity, I share these nuggets with you:

If your creativity is stuck in 'neutral', here are four ways to nudge yourself.

Speaking of creativity, here are (someone's ranking) of the top 10 new species last year.

The Big Caption is a site that takes photos from the Boston Globe's Big Picture and uses words and typography to make humor or make a statement. Cool.

Again with the theme of creativity, here are some incredibly cool gifts for geeks. Hmmm, my birthday is coming up soon.

From the people with too much (or too little) creativity, here are 10 things Hollywood thinks computers can do (or things computers make happen, etc) that aren't quite in touch with reality.

Looking for a creative way to tell people about your big announcement? Good luck matching the video this couple came up with. May the force be with you.

Somewhere I found this page that highlights the social 'messages' embodied by some of the infamous Disney Princesses. My daughter was at one point a big fan of the princesses, and I was never quite comfortable with them. They really are lousy role models for young girls. And this is coming from a Disney fan no less...

Remaking Jesus in our Own Image

2010-05-29T12:30:00.000-05:00

Scot McKnight has a fantastic article in Christianity Today, that is also available online. (If you want to read it, I recommend printing it off the website since CT's online articles are packed-full of ads and links) Scot also comments and responds to the article on his blog, here. In both settings, he manages to say a couple things really well that I have been trying to put into words myself since my second day in Introduction to New Testament. Thanks Scot.

His article does two things well - first, he reminds of the amazing ability we all have to remake Jesus in our own image - to see Jesus as very much like and about things that make sense to us. The gentle, caring, forgiving person sees Jesus as deeply compassionate, forgiving and unwilling to hurt anyone. The insecure, gruff, machoistic, making-up-for-something-else guy sees Jesus as a warrior with a tattoo on his thigh, a double-edged sword and a swagger of Dirty Harry. Its not a new problem in our faith. We just need to be reminded of how easily we do it.

But the other thing, the primary thing, that McKnight's article does is it highlights how this same thing is done by scholars claiming to unearth the 'real' Jesus of history are actually doing the same thing. Underneath all the centuries of historical scholarship, with all the studies, analysis and linguistic tools, people with PhD's are just as guilty as the rest of us of 'rediscovering' a Jesus who matches and lines up with their preferences, passions or intentions.

Here are just a couple of quote that I think are worth your time:

First, the historical Jesus is the Jesus whom scholars reconstruct on the basis of historical methods. Scholars differ, so reconstructions differ. Furthermore, the methods that scholars use differ, so the reconstructions differ all the more. But this must be said: Most historical Jesus scholars assume that the Gospels are historically unreliable; thus, as a matter of discipline, they assess the Gospels to see if the evidence is sound.

On top of this genuine problem is the problem of method. Allison: "The fragmentary and imperfect nature of the evidence as well as the limitations of our historical-critical abilities should move us to confess, if we are conscientious, how hard it is to recover the past." With one ringing line, Allison pronounces death: "We wield our criteria to get what we want."

If you're unfamiliar with the term "Jesus Seminar" you'll find the article interesting. If you're overly familiar with it, you'll either find McKnight's work liberating or exasperating.

Don't get me wrong, I have appreciated deeply what I have learned from reading, listening, interacting and being in classrooms and workshops with members of the Jesus Seminary, including a couple of people named in the article or on the faculty of our seminary. But I have always had this frustration with the process and the assumptions within it and particularly with the convenient way the Seminar seems to produce a very particular outcome that validates a distrust and distance from the life and faith of the church where most Scholars seems so much more comfortable.

I can hear again the arguments that scholarship is essential, that study is needed and that there are questions that much be addressed. I agree that questions have to be asked, that disagreement is a way of learning, that research and rethinking are deeply important to the church. But in the ivory tower of academia it is all to easy to recreate Jesus in an image that validates a disconnection from the life of the church and that substantiates institutionalized doubt, which is much more of a personal project than anyone with a PhD usually likes to confess.

Shiny Moments at Open Mic Night

2010-05-26T14:55:00.006-05:00

At Joe Momma's on Monday nights we do an Open-Mic night starting at 9 pm. There are folks who come in with guitars or poetry or comedy material and test the waters each week. Its kind a fun experience to listen to people inventing their own material, sharing a song they've written about their lives or just seeing what they can do on a stage. The first one is probably still my favorite since a bunch of our people got to play and sing and show off their love for music. But there are two moments from the past couple weeks out that just stand out as great, shiny moments.

A week ago we started pretty much like normal. They our host introduced the next act very casually, just telling us that he was going to sing a song. Now, for the record, when an act or artist performs at Open Mic Night people listen in and enjoy the performances, but there is a normal 'chatter' or whisper that continues to go on at each of the tables. But this night, as the next act performed, something was different.With no real warning that anything would be different from the ordinary, a young boy began to sing a sweet, innocent childrens' song. Without accompaniment, this six or seven-year-old starts to sing. He stood their confident and still, sang his song and a this sudden silence fell on the restaurant. All eyes were fixed on this little boy, no one spoke a word. I think the combination of surprise, appreciation for his quiet poise and genuine effort just stunned the room. When he finished, the tables erupted in applause. More than any act before him, this little boy brought the house down.

The last night, as the acts trickled on late into the night, after pretty much everyone had left, our host for the event, Pete, brought onto the stage a homeless man who most of our employees know who routinely comes in the restaurant to buy a sandwich or more frequently a $1 beer. And so while Pete tried to his best to 'beat box' this homeless man stood on the stage with him rapping and performing. Now, it wasn't a ground-breaking moment in music history, or the discovery of a new star or even a step towards a future career. But, suddenly, there was a dignity to the event and to both of those men, that we hadn't seen before. This guy who spends most of his day being ignored was, for a moment, the star of the show. And Pete just supported him.

Shiny.

Anxiety and Devotion

2010-05-24T11:05:00.001-05:00

As we wrapped up our study through Philippians Sunday, Steve hovered over Philippians 4. Here's a snippet:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." [Philippians 4:6]

Steve's observation was that we are anxious and worried about the things we are devoted to. I found his insight both surprising and helpful. I find I don't get anxious about things that I'm not that committed to like the cost of coffee or how many art studios there are in Oklahoma. Those things have some importance I'm sure, but I find myself having no real commitment or devotion to either. Yet, I worry greatly about the shape my roof is in every time with the wind blows around here (which is way too often) and I'm anxious about how my children are engaging their academics and I am concerned about the professional environment in which my wife works. All three reveal devotions of mine to my family, their future and our safety.

But, not all that I worry about reveals such healthy or noble devotions. I am reminded of much more selfish and vain anxieties I carry that highlight devotions to my pride, comfort or self-preoccupation that I'm much less inclined to type out here.

And what grabs me the most is the stuff I'm not anxious about at all. There are all kinds of terrible things happening in the world that I never lose sleep over, never even think about, that I suspect reveal more about my lack of devotion to others, to the world, to justice, to mercy and to God than I would like to admit.

A snippet from Francis Chan's book, Crazy Love, stands out to me as a rebuke this morning. He writes (with a few notes from me):

You'll notice it doesn't end with "...unless you're doing something extremely important." No, its a command for all of us, and it follows with the charge 'Do not be anxious about anything.' (vs 6). When I am consumed by my problems - stressed about my life, my family and my job - I actually convey the belief (to others - to God - to my kids) that I think circumstances are more important than God's command to rejoice. In other words that I have the right to disobey God because of the magnitude of my responsibilities.
I am also sending the message to others that I trust circumstances more than God.Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives.Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control. [pages 41-42]

What I appreciate as I reflect on all this is the point made by Andy from The Message - Prayer changes our stance, our posture (as Daniel would say) from worry to faith. To quote Peterson's translation: "Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns."

God help me. God help us all to have our eyes brightened, our hearts opened and our lives shaped more and more into yours. God help us to love the world as you love the world, to give of our lives the way you have given of yours.

Rejoice!

2010-05-23T14:11:00.000-05:00

Steve was talking about Philippians 4 today in our gathering. He started by talking about Paul's instruction to rejoice - to celebrate, revel in God at all times.

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" [Phil 4:4]

I'm fairly sure the Apostle had never met this little girl, but, if I could somehow walk myself through her exercise, I think I could come a lot closer to rejoicing in the life God has given me each day! (thanks for the link Adrienne!)

An Open Letter to the State Legislature

2010-05-17T01:24:00.000-05:00

Here is a snippet from a letter I sent out tonight to a few folks working in the State Legislature.

In recent weeks there has been great anxiety and plenty of press coverage about the unprecedented maneuvers school boards and schools are having to make in the wake of difficult economics. I'm quite sure you and I agree that there are plenty of places where fiscal belts need to be tightened, where older models of thinking need to be updated and where a call to greater fiscal responsibility is much-needed. But, when school boards are making systematic cuts and reducing their academic payrolls, everything we have striven for in education reform in Oklahoma is jeopardized. Larger classrooms, fewer teachers, losing the newest teachers with the most recent education and theory, with the most energy, passion and zeal for the job is more harmful than anyone is recognizing.

To be candid, its amazingly difficult in daily conversations with friends, neighbors and acquaintances to explain why their children are going to be herded into classrooms with less accountability, less room for focused attention and detailed, need-oriented planning when there are an unheralded number of road construction projects and the constant appearance of inefficiency and fat in the state offices. I recognize we are facing difficult decisions and hard choices. All of us are. But, in my home, there are some things we never let fall through the cracks. Before we enjoy an evening out, before we consider vacation planning, before I even pay the utilities, we set aside money to support our community of faith, we pay our mortgage and we send money to feed those who will starve otherwise. Such is the stance our state must take towards a commitment to teachers. Lowering our standards in the classrooms themselves is not only short-sighted and unwise, it compromises our future in ways that are beyond calculation.

As you represent the people of our neighborhoods and county, I beg you to protect our children, our commitment to education and to compel other Senators to join you in squeezing into our next budget every dollar possible towards academic payrolls. I don't care if students have cheap buildings, second-hand desks, or have to use old-fashioned chalkboards. You and I both know that what matters more than anything else is committed, zealous, creative, passionate teachers. Sure, every one of them probably want a fancy new smartboard in their classroom or new laptops or something else. And those tools have their use. But the passion, professionalism and commitment of my teachers as I grew up proves that having the right people in place, in a situation where they can genuinely engage their students in the curriculum rather than herding scores of them at a time, trumps all else. A Senator wants to reduce money for administrators? Fine. Want to cap spending on materials or technology or something else? Sure. More than anything else, our children need teachers - men and women who have walked away from a hundred other career opportunities, who give up all kinds of time at night and on weekends, to dream, fret, struggle and wrestle with what it takes to lead our students into tomorrow.

In Prayer

2010-04-15T13:57:00.000-05:00

God, my heart is torn in two by the hardships of life.

I know you've never promised us that life would be easy.

And we are fools to think that storms will never come.

And yet, my heart becomes so heavy as I watch friends and family wade through torrents of sorrow that sometimes come our way.

Help me remember that you are always near.

Remind my heart to keep responding to life in praise to you.

As the Psalmist says, Praise is due to you, just like obedience.

We all arrive at your doorstep sooner or later, loaded with guilt,
Our sins too much for us—but you get rid of them once and for all.

Touch the lives of these people with your mercy please.
Let them hear again your love song sung over them, even in the midst of life's harshest moments.
Give me and others the courage to walk beside others in these journeys
Teach us again to love as you have loved.

Do I Matter?

2010-04-12T13:00:00.001-05:00

All of a sudden, out of nowhere, my daughter has thing with standing on street corners. She's standing on the busiest street corner her parents will let her and holding up a sign for everyone to read. No, she hasn't committed some terrible crime, nor is she doing an act of penance or punishment.She just wants to get cars to honk. Eventually, she even got her brother and a great friends in the neighborhood to join in the fun and to build up a count of cars they got to honk.

Part of what grabs my attention is the base instinct behind what they are doing. They're not just being creative, having fun and goofing off in the sweet Spring weather. They're trying to exert some influence on the world around them. Basically, they're asking the question: "Can I have an effect on my surroundings?"

This is not the first time my daughter or son have had this question in mind. Both have tried to influence those around them in all kinds of ways - trying to change the rules to some game, trying to change where we're going to lunch, and similar efforts. But this is different. Here, my daughter recognizes the social constructions in play - we drive along the road and usually reserve honking for either defense from a bad driver or occasionally as commentary on that bad driver's choices. She sees the norm and is trying to do something outside of it, just for fun. And she's organized something - created a sign, gathered a team, picked a spot and tracks the totals.

Add to that her sense of justice in the world is starting to take shape, her commitment to God is stronger than ever, and the amazing influence she has with her friends - and who knows what is coming up over the next few years.

Activist? Evangelist? Artist? This should be fun.

The Women of Easter Morning

2010-04-04T12:15:00.000-05:00

I discovered pretty quickly after becoming a Christian that Easter is a big deal. And, it always seemed to me that it was especially a big deal to the women I knew at church. The college girls dressed up and actually put on make-up. The ladies of the church would wear big hats. Some of the women would bring in flowers or lilies. The men were glad to be there I think, but it seemed to me that somehow it mattered differently to these women.

Of course, that makes sense if you read the Scriptures and realize it was the women who first discovered the empty tomb, the women who first wondered what it could mean and that it was the women who first gave witness to the resurrection of Christ.

From our reading this morning:

After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary were headed to the tomb where Jesus was buried.
The women took with them spices they had prepared to care for the body of Jesus.
When they got to the tomb, they found the stone rolled away.
But when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus.

While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them. In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground,
But the men said to them, “Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; he has risen!

Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: “The Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.”
That’s when they remembered the words and teachings of Jesus.

As the women hurried away from the tomb they were afraid.
But they were also filled with joy and ran to tell his disciples about what they had seen and heard and remembered.

Suddenly, in the middle of their journey, Jesus met them.

They ran to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him.

Jesus told them: “Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee, they will see me there. These women, the first witnesses of his resurrection, went to the disciples and told them what they had seen and heard.

Lent - Extravagant Offerings

2010-04-02T14:24:00.000-05:00

What follows is a monologue I remember from days long ago when I was part of a small drama troupe in college. Knowing how we wrote our materials back in the day, I'm sure we took the idea and framework of it from some source, but today I have no idea where or when that was.

Read through it, slowly.

---------------------

I'm not a carpenter, but I drive nails for a living.
I crucify people.

This morning I had three crucifixions to do. The first two were easy. They were common criminals, the kind I see every day. But the third guy, he was different. You get used to people spitting on you, insulting you, cursing you when you drive the nails into the hands and feet. But the man on the middle cross didn't say a thing. He held still, almost as if he was letting me do it.

When we got all three of them lifted up, people gathered around as they always do. But almost no one seemed interested in the guys on either side, all the attention was on the man in the middle. There were all kinds of religious leaders and people watching him, mocking him, daring him to come down off the cross. They were angry and maybe even scared. Some women were there crying. My men were at the foot of the cross, gambling for what was left of his clothing. And I was standing there watching it all.

And that's when I heard him say it. "Forgive them."

Forgive them? Forgive the people passing by hurling insults at you? Forgive the crowds that led you hear? Forgive my men gambling for your clothes? And me? Forgive Me? What's wrong wrong with you? Forgive us? We're crucifying you here. Who do you think you are? Don't you know how to die?

And then the sky went black.
And the earth shook.
And the man on the middle cross died.

I'm through. I'm not driving any more nails into any more crosses. I'd rather take after a carpenter.

For Surely, this was the Son of God.
[Mark 15]

Lent - Extravagant Offerings, Part 3

2010-04-01T11:45:00.000-05:00

There is a sub-plot in the Last Supper that continues to haunt me. Both Matthew and John hint at it. I suspect that the earliest believers as they heard these stories passed on from church to church recognized what is almost invisible to us years later because of changes in the way we sit a tables.

In Roman times, instead of sitting in chairs around a table, people reclined around tables on long benches or cushions. When you reclined at the table, you leaned on one elbow, basically leaning against the person next to you. So, imagine we're all leaning on our left sides, reclining around the table. We would hold something in left hand if and when we wanted to, but we use right hand to reach to the table, to hand the bread to the person to our left or to pass the salt. People are very close in proximity and are really eating "family style" by holding the plate for the next person or even handing food to someone else to grab or eat.

In both tellings of the Last Supper the gospel writers reveal that Jesus knows who his betrayer is. What still grabs me about it, is where the betrayer is at the table. The betrayer is able to dip into the cup with Jesus, he's close enough that Jesus can, without getting up from the table, directly hand him a morsel. In other words, Judas is reclining right next to him the whole meal. Judas is basically resting his head against Jesus' chest throughout the meal.

I have a hard enough time looking someone in the eye or striking up a friendly, small-talk conversation when I know there's something wrong between me and someone else. Jesus can share his final meal with his closest friends and allies, all the while sharing this amazingly intimate moment with the man who is in league with the religious leaders and will hand him over to the Romans.

And then I remember who I am at that meal. I'm not Peter - sitting on the opposite side asking questions. I'm not one of the 'silent' people at the other end just enjoying the moment. I'm not even the servant walking around bringing dishes in.

I'm Judas. I'm the one who Jesus knows will let him down, disappoint him and often out-right betray him. And yet Jesus still welcomes me at his side, allows me to share the meal, and to rest my head next to his heart.

Thank you Lord for you overwhelming kindness which again and again draws me back to your heart.

Lent - Extravagant Offerings, Part 2

2010-03-31T13:26:00.000-05:00

As I have worked and walked and lived this week, I find a memory walking beside me - a memory of the last week of Jesus. Over the years I've treasured long discussions and learning about this week. There is a gravity to it that I find deeply meaningful.

As he enters Jerusalem, turns tables over at the Temple, he is walking toward his death. He must know what is coming. One can't walk into the tinderbox that is occupied Jerusalem, already having a reputation for challenging the authority of the established Jewish leadership and Rome, and expect to be ignored. Pilate and Rome itself deal harshly with people who upset the order they've built, particularly in Jerusalem where uprising happen so easily.

So it I think it comes as no surprise that Jesus is defends and finds it perhaps even comforting when, in the middle of this week, with all of its tension and turmoil, Mary breaks open an alabaster jar and anoints the Christ with an expensive perfume. As she pours out this expensive keepsake, probably the most expensive thing she owns, Mary has broken open the seal on her heart and is pouring out herself on Jesus. How the smell must have filled that room. No one could have not noticed the extravagance of her love for this man.

The disciples didn't know what to do with this woman or how to read her actions. Neither did the world around them. Let's be honest - we don't know what to do with that kind of love. We are so reserved, so cautious, so afraid, so limited by our own selfishness and self-preoccupations. Yet, here in the midst of a mad run-up to the humiliation and execution of Jesus is a moment where time almost seems to stop and our eyes water both from the thickness of the aroma and from the depths of her love.

God, I pray to learn to love like this. I long for my love for you, for Christ and for all things that point to you to be so real and deep and seen, that my life would stink of it. Teach me again what it means to become the aroma of Christ in a world that can't see or hear anymore.

Lent - Extravagant Offerings, Part 1

2010-03-30T11:33:00.000-05:00

Just then he looked up and saw the rich people dropping offerings in the collection plate. Then he saw a poor widow put in two pennies. He said, "The plain truth is that this widow has given by far the largest offering today. All these others made offerings that they'll never miss; she gave extravagantly what she couldn't afford—she gave her all!
From Luke 21, The Message

Father, I confess, I offer so little. I give to you on a budget, as if I can't afford to risk too much. I hold on tightly to things and gifts you have so freely poured into my life, often without me noticing or bothering to show any awareness or gratitude.

Lord, I admit I have placed so many things and priorities and people ahead of you. I have poured myself into all kinds of pursuits and passions, none of which as worthy as you. My time, my energy have all been spent widely and generously on things I wanted, but none which measure up to the life and love you bring.

Teach me again God to love as deeply and sacrificially as this woman. Help me to treasure you more than food or drink, success or honor. Help me to find the courage to throw everything I have into an offering for you today, in my words, my choices, my gifts and all.

Lent - Feeling the Conflict

2010-03-29T12:00:00.006-05:00

When we think about our faith, we often talk about our faith in terms of bringing harmony and peace to our lives, and certainly, my walk with Christ has done that in so many ways for me. But, the season of Lent has brought to me a time of struggle as well. My will and resolve and self-discipline has run into conflict with desires and longings and habits repeatedly.

And let's be honest, we don't like conflict. We tend to assume something is wrong in our lives anywhere we sense a struggle or disagreement.

Yet, as I read through Luke's gospel, right after Jesus enter Jerusalem, he immediately has a run-in with the official and traders working the coin-trading-businesses at the Temple.

From Luke 19:45-46:
Then he entered the temple area and began driving out those who were selling. "It is written," he said to them, " 'My house will be a house of prayer'; but you have made it 'a den of robbers.'

As I read this today I find myself seeing in that moment a reminder of the need to stand up against the habits and desires and opportunities that show up in my life, often pretending to be important or even religious, but that keep worship and prayer and faithfulness just out of reach. There are times I get so busy doing the things of religion that I can't find time to clear my heart and mind to be present with God.

Lent has been a time for me to push back against that stuff this year - a chance to remember what matters most to me, and to be willing to have some conflict in my life between my will and disciplines and the things that have staked out some territory in my mind and schedule. Its been a chance to clear out clutter, refine some priorities and to let my spirit breathe deeper again.

The struggle has been good.

As the poet has said,
"Batter my heart, three-personed God..."

Lent - Beginning Holy Week

2010-03-28T19:51:00.000-05:00

Wow! The Friar has posted some wonderful, convicting thoughts about the start of Holy Week.

This Holy Week, forever changed our world.

Lent is ending, Holy Week is upon us, the Church seasons are turning, Redemption is right around the corner.

Click through and read his meditations. Thank you James Patrick.

Lent - Wanting More

2010-03-26T11:30:00.002-05:00

I've been reading through Francis' Chan's Crazy Love. Last night I did a little journaling after reading a chapter of his. Some of this is stuff from his book, some of it is stuff that was churning around in me. With apologies to Francis for not being sure what is a 'quote' and what isn't... I find myself wondering just how much more of me and my life and my heart God longs for.

From Hosea 13:6
   When I fed them, they were satisfied;
   when they were satisfied, they became proud;
   then they forgot me.

Ouch. Painful to read. Even more difficult to think you could say that about me and my generation.

We say our prayers, offer our praises, gathering together. But is ever the gift of grateful heart or is it much more the practice of placated soul - going through the motions. Does anyone enjoy token praise?

Am I willing to give you anything in my life you want? And I willing to follow you anywhere you or go anywhere you send?

God, I know you want something more
   ...something deeper...
   ...something more personal and honest

Father, I know you want something from me that comes from where I live, where I love. Something from the very essence of who I know myself to be. A life lived in honest faithfulness beyond what is easy or shallow or superficial.

Give me a deeper awareness of your fingerprints in my life, a greater honesty about myself, a wider vision of you in the world, a gigantic courage, a decisive willingness to serve and a genuine engagement and commitment to others.

Lent - Listening to God

2010-03-25T10:07:00.001-05:00

Remember those cartoon representations of an angel on one should and a demon on the other each telling someone what to do? Wherever my little angel went for vacation, he's obviously had trouble with his return flights, because he's been gone a long time.

I like Paul's language in Romans 6, in the Message, where it sounds like when we give our lives to Christ and unite ourselves to him and one another by re-enacting his death in baptism. Paul sounds fairly convicted that if we've made this decision, we've decided to quit listening to sin. Gosh, I like that idea - not listening to sin. Not listening to temptations to ignore stuff that really matters, not listening to desires that pull me away from faithfulness to my call, not listening to that which would isolate me from the community of faith. Sounds great.

Of course, Paul has a counter response in mind too - not only are we not listening to sin, we start listening to God. Want to read it for yourself? Here you go:

"But now that you've found you don't have to listen to sin tell you what to do, and have discovered the delight of listening to God telling you, what a surprise! A whole, healed, put-together life right now, with more and more of life on the way! Work hard for sin your whole life and your pension is death. But God's gift is real life, eternal life, delivered by Jesus, our Master." Romans 6:22, The Message

Lent is a time to try to shut down the instinct and desire to listen to sin singing its siren call, and to instead to start listening for God's voice - through friends, prayer, Scripture even in times of stillness. The folks who give up something in Lent to experience fasting or withdrawal or the pains of hunger know what it is like to have to turn away from one desire and to turn to God.

As you walk through your day today, what would it mean for you to listen to God? If you feel sin creeping at your door, turn the other way, and remind yourself that God is singing His love song to you - and longs for you to dance. Listen for God as you walk through Lent.

Lent - Praying to Love God's Teaching

2010-03-24T13:52:00.000-05:00

From Psalm 119: 9-16

How can those who are young keep their way pure?
       By living according to your word.
  I seek you with all my heart;
       do not let me stray from your commands.
  I have hidden your word in my heart
       that I might not sin against you.
  Praise be to you, LORD;
       teach me your decrees.
  With my lips I recount
       all the laws that come from your mouth.
  I rejoice in following your statutes
   as one rejoices in great riches.
  I meditate on your precepts
       and consider your ways.
  I delight in your decrees;
       I will not neglect your word.

When I pray with the Friar each week, we pray through a portion of the Psalms. Frequently it seems we end up in Psalm 119. I find myself wrestling with and emotional over these words, even though we've prayed through them over and over. There is something about praying to God and calling out to love the teaching and decrees and life-direction of God that reminds me of who I've not become, who I long to be and how deeply God wants to shape and influence us.

The Psalms and the praying for God and rescue my thinking about life. I forget who it is I long to be and who God has called me to be. I have settled for so much less than God offers.

When I pray these words I remember who I long to become and the words of the Psalmist become words I long to be true of myself. I don't truly love God's law or decrees the way I love Coca-cola or good pizza or my computer. But I wish I did.

Pray the Psalm with me today. Long for God to lead your life, to speak to the poverty of your soul through his teaching and decrees.

Lent - God Makes a Way

2010-03-23T13:00:00.001-05:00

I love the words of the Prophet Isaiah in chapter 43. Take a few minutes to read this excerpt, taken from the Message:

This is what God says,
   the God who builds a road right through the ocean,
   who carves a path through pounding waves,
The God who summons horses and chariots and armies—
   they lie down and then can't get up;
   they're snuffed out like so many candles:
"Forget about what's happened;
   don't keep going over old history.
Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand-new.
   It's bursting out! Don't you see it?
There it is! I'm making a road through the desert,
   rivers in the badlands.
Wild animals will say 'Thank you!'
   —the coyotes and the buzzards—
Because I provided water in the desert,
   rivers through the sun-baked earth,
Drinking water for the people I chose,
   the people I made especially for myself,
   a people custom-made to praise me.

Listen to everything God has done. Doesn't that amaze you? Can you see God working the same things in your own life - building a road through the barriers, caring a path, providing relief in the most barren places and moments?

And what does God ask us to do as we remember His movements in our lives?

         Be alert, be present. Open your eyes, look around, pay attention.

So let's do that. Take some time today to look around, to notice...
   What is God doing in your life?
      Where do you sense God's presence?
        Who reminds you of God's kindness and mercy?
           What moments draw you out of a mundane mindset of life?

Look and listen - this is the God who draws water and draws His people close to his side.

Finishing Spring Break

2010-03-21T22:07:00.000-05:00

Since both my kids are in school and my wife is a teacher, Spring Break is always a welcome departure from the routine around our house. We've done a lot of different things over the year to spend time together and to make a few memories.
What made 2010 special? Glad you asked.
Here are the top 10 things that made Spring Break 2010 special for us:

[Disclaimer - I will not be mentioning my friends the Eccles in this list anywhere because they went to California without us.]

10. I cooked both my wife's favorite pasta dish (chicken with bacon, broccoli and more) and Spaghetti in one week.
9. The kids did all kinds of extra chores, homework and even extra-credit work without complaining. (No, really, they did.)
8. The NCAA tournament started and had all kinds of fun excitement for watching on our new, big-ol' TV (anytime Notre Dame loses its worth celebrating).
7. We all took our pictures for our season passes to Big Splash. I taught my son how to make a really silly face when you're having an official ID badge picture taken.
6. It snowed a little. Snow on the first day of Spring is always a memory maker.
5. My son and I discovered that the classic N64 game Perfect Dark is now on the XBOX Live arcade. Very cool. He oohed and aahed over the ramped up graphics. Then he noticed the 'redrawn' Joanna Dark and giggled and whispered in my ear how they made her look [gasp, under the break, almost not said] 'sexy'.
4. With the cousins and Uncle Brett, we watched Alice in Wonderland. This is going to be difficult for me to say, but, I kind of liked it - and even kind of liked, gulp, Johnny Depp in it.
3. Gorgeous weather for most of the week was wonderful. The kids spent a lot of time outside playing.
2.We took the kids to both the Nelson-Atkins Museum and to Science City. Who says education stops on Spring Break?
1. We got to spend some great time with Cousins Katie and Nathan! That makes any week an exceptional one.

Lent - Struggling in Faith

2010-03-17T11:17:00.000-05:00

Over the past couple of weeks my Father has forwarded to me a few Lent reflections from Dr. Larry Crabb. There haven't been any notes, just Dr. Crabb's thoughts (excerpts from his newest book). I've been assuming that these have been reflections that have gotten my Father's attention, but as I think about it, they could be hints about the material I've been posting. You know, "gosh Son, I've read your posts... here's the kind of work professional authors write..."

In one of the more recent forwards, there's a great couple of lines, where Dr. Crabb is thinking about the prophet Habakkuk, saying:

"Those who live by faith will struggle in ways that those who live to make their lives work will never know. It is that struggle, to believe despite desperate pain and confusion that a good plan is unfolding, that will open your eyes to see Me more clearly."

I appreciate his awareness and honesty that living by faith isn't always as simple as just doing what you're told, walking from point a to point b or being able to follow in God's footsteps. Those things all sound nice. But life is so often too messy, too clouded or too cloudy to see anything with that kind of simplicity or clarity.

I think that's when faith has to grow. Having enough faith to jump from the edge of the pool into your Mother's arms just a foot away is a big step - the first time. Not such a big deal when you've finished the 'minnows' swim class at the YMCA. Then jumping off the diving board is kind of scary. Not really anymore once you make the high school swim team... you get the point. Faith, just like trust in a new friendship, or even much more like in an old relationship, has to grow, stretch, change and develop over time. And while we can feed the growth of faith in prayer, study, worship and friendships, faith itself really only grows in seasons of challenge, difficulty, struggle and suffering.

As you walk though Lent this year, what struggles are dwarfing your faith right now? What hardships are testing your trust in God or in others? I invite you to spend some time in prayer, not seeking answers, but asking God to help you trust more in the midst of not understanding, not knowing or not seeing what God is doing. Ask God not to take away the struggle, but to show you where God is in the midst of it.

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As a practice to make some room in my life for God, I'm offering a series of daily posts of meditations, prayers or thoughts throughout Lent. It is my prayer that both you and I will sense the aroma of Christ somewhere in the midst of this effort.

Lent - To Die is Gain

2010-03-16T13:00:00.011-05:00

I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. [From Philippians 1:20-21]

On Sunday, my friend Daniel asked us to think about this question:

What are the areas in your life that need to die so that Christ becomes your life and your gain?

Over and over in my life I have discovered this tendency I have to latch on to something - my work, a friendship, my wife, my children, my identity - and to think that I will find in that hope, happiness and a new sense of worth. I'll think, without thinking about it this consciously, "Finally! This is what is going to make everything worthwhile." Its almost like I'm trying to prove to myself over and over that my life is not lived in vain, that the days and weeks I've spent here matter.

There are so many things that we grab on to, believing that 'this' will make my life worthwhile, whole, complete, worthwhile. We do this with our jobs, our careers, our children, our love life, our belongings, our identity, the newest cause, a new mantra...

Only Jesus Christ can bring you true life - the life for which you were created. What are you holding on to that can't bring you life?

Lent - To Live is Christ

2010-03-15T11:38:00.000-05:00

We are reading through and talking about Paul's letter to the Philippians at Rivendell for the next couple of months. Its both a refreshing letter in its language of friendship and joy and a challenging one in its call on our lives as believers and as people in community.

As you read through the first chapter, perhaps the most familiar part of the text is when Paul says, "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." I find myself chewing on his words, and not entirely sure I like the taste.

What does it mean "to live is Christ"? It seems like, for the Apostle, it means that his life represents Christ and reproduces the mission and ministry of Christ. Everywhere he goes, Christ is reflected to humanity, discovered and shared as redeemer and example for all of us on how to live. Specifically to Paul, that means more churches will be planted, more Gentiles won as ambassadors of the message, more letters written to sharpen the focus and understanding of the churches. Paul hopes and believes that the kingdom of God will be widened and deepened more through Paul's life.

I wonder if the same could be said of you and I. Is the mission of Christ reproduced in our daily lives? Are the dreams of Christ and the message of Christ shared because we live? Are our lives a continual re-presenting of the gospel?

I'm reading Francis Chan right now, and I don't think he's very confident in most of us. In his book Crazy Love, Chan makes a pretty direct assault on the mundane, lackluster, faithless, lukewarm lives that he sees in North American churches. He won't even call the lukewarm pew sitters Christians. He seems fairly convinced that the gospel is crowded and choked out of our lives by our pursuits of wealth, security, happiness, excitement and the like. In that view, the gospel is more of a fashion accessory than anything else.

I'm not sure he's wrong. I'd like to believe that you and I are deeper than that, more committed than that. I'd like to believe that we care more passionately about sharing with others the life-giving faith we hold in Christ, that we are deep practitioners of Christ's acceptance, love and command to go and make disciples. And sure, we struggle to keep those passions and convictions at the front of our lives, we get busy, distracted and forgetful. I'd like to believe that with encouragement, admonition and opportunities for repentance we can continue to delve deeper and deeper into the call of Christ on our lives.

I would like to believe that when others see us living, working, loving beside them, they see 'to live is Christ', a reflection of Christ.

I want to believe that. I'm just not sure I do.

Lent - Seeing the Big Picture

2010-03-14T11:45:00.001-05:00

It is so easy to get lost and confused and frustrated and even embittered about life. Just the other day, I was joking on someone's facebook status about my struggle with envy over a quick getaway they were on, having fun in the sun with good friends. And honestly, its pretty easy for me to see the stuff or situations others have or are in and to start mumbling under my breath. Or, there is a new reason to get disgusted at unchecked evil or uncountered greed or uncontested injustice in our nation and across the globe.

I'm not the first person to see this, either. Read aloud this prayer of the Psalmist from Psalm 73

No doubt about it! God is good— good to good people, good to the good-hearted.

But I nearly missed it, missed seeing his goodness.

I was looking the other way,

looking up to the people at the top,envying the wicked who have it made,

Who have nothing to worry about, not a care in the whole wide world.

The Psalmist goes on to describe laments of what these folks do wrong, why they shouldn't be 'getting ahead' and how he almost regrets a life of faithfulness before God.

You can relate, can't you? Haven't there been times when you've felt like you've done everything God has asked of you for nothing? All this has been in vain? That God owes you? I've lived a life for God in vain!

Until...

Until I entered the sanctuary of God. Then I saw the whole picture. [Ps 73]

Stepping into the presence of God changes the view of this ancient member of our family. Somehow, he sees the world differently after spending time in the presence of God.

Perhaps the Psalmist, like us, needs a reminder that both the author and primary actor of this story we call our lives is not -us-, but God instead. Usually, in fact, I think pretty much always, when I am bent about what I don't have, what someone else is getting, when I am ranting about how unfair life is or what hasn't happened that I wanted to happen, I'm doing nothing more than throwing a fit. Sure, I know how to dress it up in religious language and how to make it sound justified, adult and sophisticated. But, I'm really just showing how caught up I am in myself and how much I expect life to go my wife.

My life is not my own. I pledged my hands, my legs, my heart and soul, my days and nights and the rest of my life to God a long time ago. I told him that I'd go where he sent, do what he asked, respond to his touch and live for him.

I just forget that some times.

Remind me today that the world is your stage, O Lord. Remind me again that you are the star of the show and that any role you give me is significant and important, but is always in concert with you. Teach me again to trust your wisdom, to find comfort in your promises, to discover peace in your presence and to be content being just a player in your company.

Thank you for the daily bread you put on my table, the circle of friends you have brought into my home and for the life you have given me. I am yours Lord. I always was, even before I knew it.

Lent - A prayer

2010-03-13T11:30:00.000-06:00

We seek your presence, O God,
As the morning light breaks the darkness of the light,
we long for you to break through the darkness of our lives.

Wake us to a new dawn of your mercy and kindness.
Remind us that you are present all around us,
Again we need a reminder of your goodness and forgiveness.
Show us your power for renewal in our lives, in our city and in our world.

Give us the courage to live for you this day
to see others as your children and our brothers and sisters
to treat others with the acceptance, kindness and courage you have shown us
And to serve the world as generously as you have done.

You alone are our strength and our peace.
We cling to you the way the leaves cling to the vine
the way a child clings to her mother
Surely, your love is better than life.

Lent - Photo on Friday

2010-03-12T10:06:00.003-06:00

Recently, someone said something to me about seeing our lives as a work of cross-stitch with a series of crazy mixed-up movements on one side, and when we finally get to see things from the other perspective, being a beautiful work of God's art.

Here's a photo I ran across on Flickr. Take some time to admire the creativity as you consider your life this day. I'd recommend even praying the prayer.

Lent - What Lent is Not

2010-03-11T11:44:00.000-06:00

In honor of my friend J.J.'s birthday today, I'm going to quote him for my Lent post:

As we were sitting around a friend's pool table at our Pipe and Fellowship night, J.J. was commenting that he hadn't particularly chosen anything to give up for lent, saying,

"I didn't give up anything for Lent. God knows I love him."

You get it, right? He was trying to be a little funny, but I really appreciated what he said. And if Lent is not something, its not some trick to get God to love us more or to somehow to convince the Almighty of the genuineness of our affection or faithfulness. Just as my children don't give me gifts on my birthday to try to get me to love them more, Lent isn't about trying to manufacture affection between us and God.

Indeed, there is nothing you or I could do to get God to love us more. Nothing you do today can make God love you more. God's loving-kindness and mercy and commitment to humanity and to you is as strong today as it was the day you were born, just as it will be the hour before you take your final breath. While God's love changes, shapes and stirs us, we don't influence God's love. The reason we love at all is because God first loved us.

Lent is a choice to learn, to try to make some room, and a movement toward participation with God more than anything else. Lent is a season that we observe to try to correct the forgetfulness and busyness in our lives and to help us remember what the life of Christ and what dependency upon God really mean to us.

So, whether you've taken on a couple practices or given up a couple temptations or made a meaningful sacrifice for these 40 days or if you've done none of the above, remember this day the consistent, unchanging love of our Creator and Redeemer. Remember again that your are loved by the greatest giver of love humanity has ever known. Embrace that love and let it weave itself into every corner of your life.

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As a practice to make some room in my life for God, I'm offering a series of daily posts of meditations, prayers or thoughts throughout Lent. It is my prayer that both you and I will sense the aroma of Christ somewhere in the midst of this effort.

Lent - Participation

2010-03-10T12:26:00.000-06:00

These days in the season of Lent serve as a reminder for me of what it means to participate with God in daily living. Just as Jesus fasted for forty days, we fast, giving up perhaps things much less substantial than he did, but giving up nonetheless. As Jesus prepared over the years for the coming events of Holy Week, we prepare for the remembering and worship and celebration. As Jesus lived passionately in the world and for the world, we do the same. We participate in his call, his ministry, his love, his serving of others, his sacrifice and in his resurrection.

The Apostle Paul insists on reminding the Philippian church over and over that they are participants with God, partners with Paul, people who share in the ministry of Paul, the joy of the Gospel, and both the affection and suffering of Christ.

Why is Paul going to keep pounding this drumbeat of partnership and participation with Christ throughout the book? He knows what we forget - we are not alone, and as believers in God, we do not live our lives to ourselves. Our lives are pledged to God, given over to the God through the work of the Spirit. We belong to Christ.

Imagine if your daughter or boss or neighbor were handcuffed to you, traveling everywhere you went - and every appointment, every meeting, every errand, every conversation was to be handled in partnership with them. Wouldn't your day be decidedly different? Maybe that's why Paul in particular is continually reminding the church that they are participants with Christ, touching again and again on the Lord's Supper and Baptism, experiences that make concrete and visible the invitation to partnership with God.

Doesn't that make your daily routine look a little different? How differently might you approach your classroom and the students God has brought into your life if you see yourself as God's partner in that room? How different is it for you to view your spending habits, your time, your relationships, the way you speak if you remember that you are participating with Christ in ministry and mission to the world?

Let Lent remind you of and build your longing for sharing in God's mission, suffering and affection for the world.

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As a practice to make some room in my life for God, I'm offering a series of daily posts of meditations, prayers or thoughts throughout Lent. It is my prayer that both you and I will sense the aroma of Christ somewhere in the midst of this effort.

Lent - Isaiah 55 (part 2)

2010-03-09T11:45:00.000-06:00

Seek God while he's here to be found,
   pray to him while he's close at hand.
Let the wicked abandon their way of life
   and the evil their way of thinking.
Let them come back to God, who is merciful,
   come back to our God, who is lavish with forgiveness.

Isaiah 55:6-7, The Message

I don't think I would have ever called myself 'wicked' or 'evil.' At 18-years-old I certainly didn't see myself as an ideal role-model or as anyone's patron saint, but I think I saw myself as a good person who tried to do the best I could with life.

I'm fairly sure the Prophet Isaiah would have disagreed with that assessment. I'm pretty sure the Prophet would have seen what was painfully obvious to everyone else but almost invisible to me - my rampant selfishness, my brazen pride and arrogance, my unending insecurity and the embarrassing shallowness in which I lived. And having taken inventory of my lack of depth, unblunted self-preoccupation and lack of anything resembling a sense of faith, the prophet would have probably very directly used the words 'evil' and 'wicked.'

Perhaps that's a surprise to me even as I write it, but I think its truthful. Certainly, I never murdered anyone, never enslaved a nation or ever sold my soul. But, as a young man I quite willingly chased after whatever passion owned me at the moment, willingly used people, changed the facts in stories I told, took things that weren't mine... you know, evil things.

There was a clear choice ahead of me when I was 18 and I started making friends with these Christian people in Abercrombie Hall. And this choice wasn't just a decision about whether or not to get up on Sunday mornings or if I should clean up my mouth or if I start being more polite. As I read the Bible for the first time and learned to pray and became closer to these believers, I was confronted with a choice to leave a way of thinking and living behind - to take on a new understanding of what it meant to live. I would have to bury everything I knew about being a human being and start over on a new path.

Jesus being the way, the truth and the life became a very specific and practical thing for me - a new way of life, a model and example for how to see the world, how to behave, how to think.

And when I could smell the aroma of Christ on these people, I grabbed on to what they were offering while God was within reach.

The words of the Prophet, and the season of Lent, remind me that the process of letting go and starting over is ever with me. In many ways, I am still that confused, wandering, obnoxious, scared student just trying to figure out where God is and how I can join him. If you have some ideas about that, I'd love to hear them. I'll share what I've found if you'll do the same.

Seek God while he's here to be found,
pray to him while he's close at hand.

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As a practice to make some room in my life for God, I'm offering a series of daily posts of meditations, prayers or thoughts throughout Lent. It is my prayer that both you and I will sense the aroma of Christ somewhere in the midst of this effort.

Lent - Come All Who Are Thirsty (Part 1)

2010-03-08T11:40:00.003-06:00

   Hey there! All who are thirsty, come to the water!
            Are you penniless? Come anyway—buy and eat!
Come, buy your drinks, buy wine and milk. Buy without money—everything's free!
    Why do you spend your money on junk food, your hard-earned cash on cotton candy?
Listen to me, listen well: Eat only the best, fill yourself with only the finest.
Pay attention, come close now, listen carefully to my life-giving, life-nourishing words. I'm making a lasting covenant commitment with you, the same that I made with David: sure, solid, enduring love. I set him up as a witness to the nations, made him a prince and leader of the nations,
     And now I'm doing it to you: You'll summon nations you've never heard of, and nations who've never heard of you will come running to you because of me, your God, because The Holy of Israel has honored you.

Seek God while he's here to be found, pray to him while he's close at hand. Let the wicked abandon their way of life and the evil their way of thinking. Let them come back to God, who is merciful, come back to our God, who is lavish with forgiveness. [Isaiah 55:1-7]

What does it mean to be thirsty like the Prophet describes? Do we hunger and thirst beyond just the 11:30 lunchtime stomach growl? Is there something inside of us craving the presence and touch of God? If there is, most of the time I don't notice it. Like you, I don't like feeling out of control or helpless or unable to take care of my own problems, so when those kinds of nagging questions bubble up, I find a way to stay busy or stay distracted or to short-circuit the process of being honest with myself about my life and my need for God.

But Lent is about being thirsty - about hungering and thirsting for God. Lent is a time to discipline ourselves to experience that need for God's touch, to be honest about our longing for God and our incompleteness without God.

Part of the Good News in this text is that God offers refreshment and renewal at his own cost. Everything is free the prophet insists - come and take. Don't squander your time or energy our resources anywhere else - chase after God.

Where do you feel the thirst for God in your life? Follow the advice of Isaiah - Come to God. Call out.

(more from Isaiah 55 tomorrow)

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As a practice to make some room in my life for God, I'm offering a series of daily posts of meditations, prayers or thoughts throughout Lent. It is my prayer that both you and I will sense the aroma of Christ somewhere in the midst of this effort.

Lent - Rest from Work

2010-03-06T11:57:00.000-06:00

I remember the Rabbi teaching us that Sabbath is a reminder of who is God, and who is not. Rabbi Sherman's passion and clarity in the Scriptures wasn't lost on me. God commands us to stop working and to rest to teach us over and over that God is the source of our life and sustenance, and that we are still in need of God's provision. All work and no play doesn't only make Jack or Jill dull, it makes them idolaters as well.

Jesus, brilliantly and concretely reminded the people listening to him that living in fear and anxiety wouldn't help a bit. And let's be honest, so much of our work and toil and sweat is driven by fear - fear we'll miss out, fear we won't have enough, fear we'll be left behind, fear we aren't good enough...

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?" Matthew 6

Worship your Creator and Provider God today by taking some time to not work. Sit down, put your feet up, dive into a book, cuddle with someone you love, play some golf, tell a story, paint or draw. Worship by playing and resting and renewing.

Here's a link for the great art by Vincent.

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As a practice to make some room in my life for God, I'm offering a series of daily posts of meditations, prayers or thoughts throughout Lent. It is my prayer that both you and I will sense the aroma of Christ somewhere in the midst of this effort.

Lent - Praise

2010-03-05T17:46:00.000-06:00

Spend a minute just stopping everything. Take a moment to remember that God walks with you through life - and offers you the compassion and acceptance and love of the Almighty out of who He is. God's love for you and for humanity is based completely on Him.

I love the words of Psalm 63. Here's a link to a few different translations.

I invite you to pray through the Psalm, making the words your own. Let it serve as a spring board to prayer, reflection and renewal.

¹ You, God, are my God,

earnestly I seek you;

I thirst for you,

   my whole being longs for you,
   in a dry and parched land
   where there is no water.

² I have seen you in the sanctuary

and beheld your power and your glory.

³ Because your love is better than life,

my lips will glorify you.

⁴ I will praise you as long as I live,

and in your name I will lift up my hands.

Do you remember a time in your life when you really believed that the love of God was better than anything else life had to offer? What would it mean to live that way today?

Lent and Mercy

2010-03-04T11:16:00.000-06:00

Inspired by a discussion from earlier this week with a friend who is growing in wisdom and depth, I find myself thinking and praying about what it means to respond and grow in mercy towards others. Jesus, as a Rabbi, broke all the established conventions making friends with all manner of human beings, regardless of their status in society or reputation in the community. Jesus talked with, ate with, became friends with people who were unclean, uncouth, less religious - you know, sinners.

Quoting the prophet Hosea, Jesus insists to the religious leaders being critical of his high-contact with low-stature people, saying

“On hearing this, Jesus said, 'It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.'" [From Matthew 9:12]

The call, and indeed expectation, of God is to mercy - a mindset and life of compassion and kindness toward others. The religious language of sacrifice and offerings is certainly all over the place in the Bible. And such acts were an integral part of the religious life and identity of God's children. And while the role of sacrifice has many aspects and elements, it serves as concrete reminder of yieldedness to the Holy One.The person making a sacrifice is saying "I am surrendered to God."

But, as both the prophet and the priest remind us, true yieldedness to God shows up in both our wills and in our hearts. God's desire is for us to take on His mercy as our own. The heart of God is for the kindness and compassion of God to be reproduced over and over throughout humanity through our lives.

That sounds beautiful. I love the idea of bumping into God's mercy over and over. But living it out myself? Not so easy. There are so many times that I find myself not wanting to be merciful, or kind or compassionate. I find it so much easier to be judgmental, angry, justified or self-righteous.

Father, what is it going to take for me to take on your mercy as my own? How can I move my heart closer to yours? Help me see people the way you do. Help me pour out myself and give the way you do. God, I know I have to get over myself, move beyond the expectations I have for my life, and learn to welcome others as Christ has welcomed me. You sent Jesus amongst us to call out to the sinners. Remind me that I am among the worst and that it is only by your good mercy that I enjoy your touch.

Lent - The Language of Faith

2010-03-03T12:47:00.001-06:00

I've invited a good friend of mine, Daniel Sharples, to share some thoughts of his about Lent today. His name has shown up on my blog before. Daniel is, among other things, a deep thinker, a fellow pilgrim in the faith and a trusted friend. He is, you will quickly recognize, also a gifted writer.

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Being part of a community of faith makes you realize the different trajectories of life and faith that are going on simultaneously. Sitting in one Sunday morning service you will have at one time: people whose lives are peaceful and restful and are present to the rightness of things, others who are experiencing deep tragedies and loss and who wonder where God is in the midst of it all - and probably are very angry with him at the same time, and even still others who are coming out of their own chaos and pain but who are re-experiencing the coherence of life and God one day at a time. The Psalms match these varying trajectories quite well, leading one Old Testament scholar to even categorize three different strains in the Psalms that makes sense of these simultaneous realities in our lives.

There are Psalms of Orientation - (example: Psalm 65) everything is right in the world, God is at work restoring and providing for all; there is justice, there is color, essentially everything is as it should be. In these Psalms we agree with the author that life is sweet, we are meant to enjoy it and to be satisfied by the God who has created such beauty and order. We are content and happy for God, others, and ourselves make sense.

There are Psalms of Disorientation - (example: Psalm 88) everything in life is out of control, utterly chaotic. Justice is perverted, all are guilty and God is absent. All we can see is the grayness that covers over everything, there is no hope for life to be better and we are in despair. We seek, we question, and we beg but there is no answer to the pain of life. We are tired and angry, and yet there is still no end to the pain.

There are Psalms of Reorientation - (example: Psalm 22) this strain only occurs after a period of disorientation. One reality has died and in its place there is a new reality being born. It is a time where tragedy and comedy, pain and joy, loss and hope are intermixed. There is the pain of the loss of what we had previously hoped and longed for that has come to pass, but in its place is a new hope is born and a new way of life is being organized. This is a process of course, it rarely happens in an instance but is a journey that we take one step at a time. However, with each step forward we move into a path that is more straight and coherent, thus leading us to a deep hope and trust in the power and provision of God.

Note: these are not clean steps that we take and we always know which one we are in presently, often times these things will happen at the same time and we will be very confused in the process still. However, I believe articulating all of this gives just a little more clarity to our present situations, and it also gives us a language for how we approach and live into our faith. So often when we experience disorientation, we simply want to shut down and withdraw, but there is powerful and evocative language in scripture that can guide us and help us realize that we are (a) not alone in our suffering and that our tradition has people just like us that have experienced the loss of their perceived reality, and (b) that we can pray to God in our anger and confusion and that God does not fear our questions and honest struggle.

Jesus himself prayed a prayer of reorientation when he echoed the author of Psalm 22 in saying "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?". The beginning of this prayer are so disorienting and match the feelings I am sure Christ had as he was on the cross. And yet, if you read the rest of the Psalm, there is a deep and abiding trust that the God who has seemed absent will save as he has done in the past. And that prayer is so pivotal for all of us during this season of Lent, we can easily sense in our own lives when we have felt this way. So let us be honest in our faith and in our prayers.

Lord Jesus, lead us in prayer...

Today I would encourage you to read Psalm 22 and to pray over it and make it more palatable for your life. Consider reading the Psalms throughout the rest of Lent, learn from the authors a deeper sense of faithful language.

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As a practice to make some room in my life for God, I'm offering a series of daily posts of meditations, prayers or thoughts throughout Lent. It is my prayer that both you and I will sense the aroma of Christ somewhere in the midst of this effort.

Lent - Confession

2010-03-02T11:45:00.000-06:00

I remember the first time in my life that I couldn't take communion. I don't mean the first time I was away from a church on a Sunday, or was out of the room at the wrong time or had my jaw wired shut; I remember the first time that my conscious and heart wouldn't let me take part in the ancient sharing of the body and blood of Christ Jesus.

I was 22-years-old, had pledged my life to Christ 4 years earlier, was a leader in our campus ministry. And I had spent the weekend violating that pledge. I was able to walk into church, hug necks, make a comment in Bible Class and act like I had it all together. But when they prayed over the Lord's Supper, and passed the trays, and I picked up the cracker piece and the cup of juice - I lost it.

The guilt was more than I could bear. I knew that I had disowned the Lord, perhaps not irreparably, but certainly defiantly. And I couldn't eat the cracker or drink the juice. I put them in the holder in the pew, and practically fell over sobbing.

Fortunately for me, there were people around me who didn't just pat me on the back or worse, look the other way. A couple folks walked me out of the room, we somewhere private. And they waited; they waited for me to do what I desperately needed to do - confess.

There is something deeply powerful and substantively important about confession. Contrary to everything else we think about it, confession is life-giving, healing and powerful. Confession fosters intimacy, opens up our souls, restores our faith and reminds us of what it means to follow God.

People who can't or won't share their struggles, admit their faults or express remorse are people who worry me and scare me. I don't need or expect anyone else to process life the way I do, but I've been alive long enough to know that if you don't have the ability or see the need to 'tell on yourself', admit mistakes, and confess sin, then there's something pretty wrong inside your heart and soul.

Read these words of David from Psalm 51:

Scrub away my guilt,
      soak out my sins in your laundry.
   I know how bad I've been;
      my sins are staring me down.

I'm not the preacher standing at the podium on a stage screaming into a microphone insisting you are worthless, useless or unlovable, right? I'm not the theologian who starts all discussion of theology by insisting that humans are a completely failed experiment who don't deserve the time of day. But, I know, without a doubt, that are days, weeks, months and even whole seasons of our lives when our sins are "staring us down." And if you've never felt that or seen it, I think you are probably either a) about 12-years-old or b) named Jesus and from Nazareth or c) in desperate need of a reality check.

When is the last time you spent some real time being honest with yourself and God about who you are, how you live, where you spend your money, how you spend your time, and where you have run amuck of who you have been created to be? When is the last time you sat down with a close, personal, trusted, honorable friend to ask for prayer or encouragement or forgiveness?

My goal in this is not to induce guilt. There are 1000 reasons for you to feel happy, excited, fired-up and gung-ho about the life God has given you to lead. But Lent can be a wonderful season for honesty, reflection, self-examination and for confession.

Take Psalm 51 as a model and muse. Whether its through a journal, some poetry, on a canvas, in prayer on Sunday or over coffee with a trusted soul, spend some time this week reading over Psalm 51 and then making the Psalm your own in confession. I expect you'll experience something surprising, much like David must have when he got all that down and out and offered to the Almighty.

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As a practice to make some room in my life for God, I'm offering a series of daily posts of meditations, prayers or thoughts throughout Lent. It is my prayer that both you and I will sense the aroma of Christ somewhere in the midst of this effort.

Lent - Imitation

2010-03-01T12:00:00.000-06:00

I have this love/hate relationship with imitation. I try to follow in the footsteps of others sometimes, trying to 'try on' their way of thinking, or how they relation to a situation, or how they solve problems, or how they dance. But I also detest the mindless mobs that are zombies to the latest fashion trends, or the newest must-have gizmo or who are quick to copy the coolest pop-culture lingo. If everybody is doing something, I usually think I'm too good for it. (I know, I know...)

The same kind of stuff happens in churches. Every pastor thinks if they can copy the latest super-pastor's style or program or plan or book or schtick, they will be a super-pastor too. First it was Willow, then Saddleback, then Ed Young or Rob Bell, then, blah, blah, blah. Yet, everyone knows it can't work. What that church did in that city has much less to do with anything their saying now, and much more to do with unique elements like where they are located, how the people who were there brought friends, how well something connected with the audience and sometimes even how God moved through them despite everything else.

Even in the pulpit, we have the same love/hate thing going. And let's be honest, most church folks wouldn't be okay with it if their pastor stood up week after week telling everyone, "Just be like me. Do what I do, act like I do - that's your goal." Most folks would probably laugh, some might walk out - most would tune out and go on their way. Yet, most people sitting in a pew or a chair expect their pastor to be someone they can emulate, learn from and copy in some way.

Weird, huh.

Certainly there is one person I think we all should copy. Scripture points us to him over and over. Don't believe me, read this for your self, and this, and this too.

Todd Littleton has recently blogged on this - reminding us that imitation is actually an encouraged way of learning. During this season of Lent, I appreciate the question he finishes with - who are you imitating?

You and I both know the right answer you're supposed to give. But what if you take some time during Lent to seriously reflect on who you imitate in the day to day moments of your life. Who's habits are you picking up? Who's mindset about life have you fallen into? At the office - at school - around the house, who do you sound like? Who do your actions remind you of?

Lent is a great time to look in the mirror.

Who do you see? Who do you want to see? Who do you want to imitate? What would it look like to mimic the ways of Christ tomorrow in those places?

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As a practice to make some room in my life for God, I'm offering a series of daily posts of meditations, prayers or thoughts throughout Lent. It is my prayer that both you and I will sense the aroma of Christ somewhere in the midst of this effort.

Lent - A Cup for Sins

2010-02-28T12:00:00.004-06:00

In Matthew 26, as Jesus and his 12 celebrate Passover for the final time, he says these words to them:

²⁷Then he took the cup, and when he had given thanks, he gave it to them, saying, "Drink from it, all of you. ²⁸This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins." (Matthew 26:27-28)

While the rituals and stories of Passover would have been deeply familiar to these men and drenched with symbolism and meaning, these words are different. These words are not part of the Passover ritual. They are words that must have sounded confusing and difficult to understand.

I confess, I find them still difficult to understand. I find God's love and acceptance of my own life impossible to fathom. My life - my struggles, my sins, my failings, my deviations - are distasteful to me, enough to leave me often in a state of self-loathing and disgust. And somehow, this God above all other Gods is capable of seeing the best moments of my life and the many-more worst moments, and responds with generosity, mercy and love?

Hard to believe.

Hard to accept.

But I cling to it with both hands.

Each week as our community of faith breaks bread and share in communion, I hold on to the words of Christ and his promise of grace with everything I'm worth. As I taste that cup each week I hold on to the dream of a Savior who embraces me in full view of who I am, where I've been and everything still yet to come.

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As a practice to make some room in my life for God, I'm offering a series of daily posts of meditations, prayers or thoughts throughout Lent. It is my prayer that both you and I will sense the aroma of Christ somewhere in the midst of this effort.

Lent - Sabatth Slow Down

2010-02-27T11:45:00.000-06:00

Rush, rush, hurry, hurry, go, go. See George. See George run. See George run everywhere - chasing after life in the fastest way possible - hurrying to pile more and more in his life in a futile, foolish attempt to find significance and meaning and joy by having the newest stuff, the biggest toys, all the accolades and as many pretend friends as possible.

Slow Down.

Hit the Brakes

Stop.

Rest in the peace of God's acceptance, presence and love for you. Rest in the knowledge that God sees beyond all the busy-busy stuff and looks deeper. Rest in knowing that God wants to draw you deeper and wider in the pursuit of holiness, faith and faithfulness. Rest in the awareness that you can't be smart enough, good enough or religious enough to make yourself God's favorite - and yet God already has your picture on the refrigerator door and loves time with you the way a Grandparent pines to see their children's children.

If, like so many of us, you find yourself chasing after all kinds of idols and false Gods, take a couple minutes to read Jeremiah 2. The prophet speaking for God recalls a love-struck people who at first lingered as lovers, and who suddenly are too busy chasing the empty promises of Pagan Gods. I love the wording of The Message here. Take some time, read through it slowly, letting the poetry of it resonate and do its work on you.

More than once I have reminded that busyness - perhaps more than idleness - can lead to worship something foreign and other than God.

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As a practice to make some room in my life for God, I'm offering a series of daily posts of meditations, prayers or thoughts throughout Lent. It is my prayer that both you and I will sense the aroma of Christ somewhere in the midst of this effort.

Lent - Temptation

2010-02-26T11:45:00.001-06:00

¹ Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. ² After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. ³ The tempter came to him...

Interesting things happen in the desert wildernesses of Scripture. Moses discovers his calling in the desert. Israel loses God and then returns to God in the wilderness. John the Baptist comes out the wilderness almost like a crazed fool to make way for Christ. How fitting is it that Jesus withdraws to a desert wilderness to prepare for and to face his testing.

The desert is a place of aloneness and isolation. It is both barren and alive with the movement of the wind and the sun. There are less distractions, no comforts. The one in the desert is alone with God and their own soul.

Let's be honest, we sometimes find that idea frightening. We'd rather keep our minds occupied, our hearts numb, our schedules full and not have too much time to stop and think about our own mortality, the thinness of our lives, the emptiness of our hearts and our place before the Almighty. Its unsettling, to say the least.

Yet, in order to face what was coming - Jesus did exactly that. He cleared himself away from clutter and comfort alike so that he could be fully attentive on who he was, who God was and what truly mattered to him.

I think that most of the time when we are struggling (or failing to struggle) with temptation its not because we don't know better, or even that we don't want to resist the urges. We just don't believe. We don't have a temptation problem or a will power problem or a sin problem - we have a belief problem. We don't believe in who we are created to be, who God is helping us to become or in the genuineness of God's call on our lives.

Somehow, getting into the wilderness, alone, gave Jesus clarity about God, himself and his life.

Maybe Lent can help us do the same. Withdraw, pull back, shutdown some of the distractions, deviations, busy-elements and mind-numbing elixirs of your life. Find some time alone. And ask God to speak words to you - through Scripture, through a song, through a friend - words that spark and spur your belief.

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As a practice to make some room in my life for God, I'm offering a series of daily posts of meditations, prayers or thoughts throughout Lent. It is my prayer that both you and I will sense the aroma of Christ somewhere in the midst of this effort.

Lent - Dying to Sin

2010-02-25T16:43:00.000-06:00

In Romans 6 the Apostle Paul reminds us that when were baptized we had died to sin, put it off, that we were buried with Christ in our baptism and that we are raised to a new life with Christ.

This is what the season of Lent is about, about being born again, about following the path of death and resurrection, about participating in Jesus' final journey. As we begin to consider ourselves dead to sin - a process that takes all of our lives - we begin to discover the renewing, life-giving presence and power of Christ at work in us and leading in to ministry and communion with Him.

The decision for dying to sin may look very different: a decision to walk away from a temptation, or giving up a behavior that has become destructive, perhaps to a relationship that has ended or gone bad, maybe dying to our self-preoccupation, or even to a deadness in our lives. So, the journey of Lent is about being born again--about dying and rising, about mortality and transformation. The journey of Lent is about being born again by participating in the death and resurrection of Jesus, following him and taking up his mission to the world.

Paul tells us "In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus." What is keeping you from experiencing a true union with Christ? Where is there a need for dying in your life? Where do you long to be alive to God?

Lent - Praying By Heart

2010-02-24T11:30:00.000-06:00

Today I share with you an prayer, borrowed from Praying By Heart.

O God of love,
whose Spirit stirred over the waters of chaos
and called forth light into being

Reveal in this Lenten season,
the faith of
Sarah and Abraham -
faith firm enough
to hear when you speak,
even when it means releasing the comfort of security,
leaving what we know
and walking into the unknown,
the new challenge,
to follow you,
to be your people

Guide us, God
here in this church.
Shape us so that Sarah and Abraham
would recognize themselves here:
hearts and hands and ears open
to being in relationship with you,
giving thanks to you in all things,
even in the midst of another's burdens,
so that we may bear them together
knowing the lightness of a load
when so many of our brothers' and sisters' hands
lift it with us.

We pray to live a love that endures even the misery of failure
that transcends the temptation of judgment
and forgives as quickly
as we would have others forgive us

We pray now for those among us and our families who are ill,
who know pain and grief,
that as we move among their struggle with illness,
we may be instruments of Christ's peace,
bring comfort in Christ's name.

Praying by Heart is written by Kay Northcutt, my worship and preaching professor at Phillips Theological Seminary. This prayer (from page 45), and many others, are available for both personal and public worship.

Lent - Giving Up Blame

2010-02-23T20:04:00.000-06:00

We talk about Lent as being a time of giving something up. This thing we give up can be something physical, often people pick a vice they think will remind them to sacrifice for God like coffee or chocolate or meat. But it can also be a time of abstract sacrifices.

What if this season of Lent, you were to give up blame, either blaming others or blaming yourself. Blaming can be a way to avoid responsibility, and to take an easy way out. Its not easy to give up blame and it will take some work.

How or where has blame caused separation or isolation in your life?
What is the difference between blame and accountability?
Where is blame blocking your road to the life you've always wanted?
Where has holding on to blame left little room for God to move in your life?

Try to spend the next couple of days noticing ways to give up blaming yourself or blaming others. Certainly, this is not a call to make yourself a doormat and let folks walk all over you. But, instead of living in blame, isn't there another way to live?

Lent - Teach Me Wisdom

2010-02-22T11:30:00.001-06:00

I've written before about creating some space for God to work in our lives. Sometimes, I have unclutter my mind and heart before I can notice God at all. Here's a meditation aimed at helping to do just that - clear the clutter away for a moment or two.

Pause for a moment to clear your mind, and rest your soul.
Read the verse and sit with it for a minute. Then follow that with a prayer I've offered.

From Psalm 51:6, first from the Message, then from the ESV:

"What you're after is truth from the inside out.
Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life. (The Message)

"Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being,
and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart." (ESV)

What grabs your attention about the words of the Psalmist here? What words here give you hope? Lift your spirit? Is it relieving or concerning to you to read "what you're after is truth from the inside out?"

Where in your life have you hesitated to let God enter you? Where have you kept God at a distance? Where have you resisted the new life God longs to create within you?

What would it look like today and tomorrow if you were to be more willing and committed to God teaching you wisdom?

A prayer for you and I:

I seek your presence, O God,
not because I have managed to see things perfectly,
or because I will be completely true to you this week

I seek your presence, O God,
not because I have loved others as deeply and truly as you have,
or because I see in them a reflection of your image

I seek your presence
   because I long to see things as you do,
    to be true to you inside and out,
    to love as richly as you love,
    to recognize your beauty in all I meet

Grant me this week the wonder of toddler discovering the world for the first time,
the wisdom of a aged, learned and loving grandmother
Give a vision and passion for justice like a young student of the world
and a vitality and love for life of a hope-filled kid.

Teach me to be alive in these days God,
alive to you, to others and to the world.

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As a practice to make some room in my life for God, I'm offering a series of daily posts of meditations, prayers or thoughts throughout Lent. It is my prayer that both you and I will sense the aroma of Christ somewhere in the midst of this effort.

Lent - Broken Bread

2010-02-21T13:23:00.000-06:00

And as they were eating, he took bread, and after blessing it broke it and gave it to them, and said, "Take; this is my body." Mark 14:22, ESV

Who are you that you break off a piece of your body and offer it to those around you? What kind of person calls others to live off of himself? This sign and symbol you give us reminds us of your life of offering your self to others, open, exposed and vulnerable. As we take this bread from your hands, we know it is more than bread. This broken bread is a sacrament for us, bringing us back to you again and again. As we taste it in our lips, an oath of allegiance to you is on our hearts. We pledge ourselves to you again - to your way of living life as an offering to others. Hear our prayers, Oh Lord.

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As a practice to make some room in my life for God, I'm offering a series of daily posts of meditations, prayers or thoughts throughout Lent. It is my prayer that both you and I will sense the aroma of Christ somewhere in the midst of this effort.

Wisdom and Listening

2010-02-20T22:10:00.000-06:00

Read Proverbs 5:1-14.

So, my friend, listen closely;
don't treat my words casually. [vs 7 - The Message]

Now then, my sons, listen to me;
do not turn aside from what I say [vs 7 - TNIV]

How many times has God been whispering wisdom to me through the words, actions and prayers of others - only to miss it because of my own stubbornness or hard hearted ways? How many times have I refused to hear what I know was being said so that I could chase my passions, regardless of the cost?

Oh God, give me a heart to hear and a willingness to listen when you offer wisdom and counsel through others. Help me to see you working in the lives of those around me, to recognize your faithfulness and love in the face of my own self-infatuation. And give me ears to hear to your word - and a faith to believe that your love is better than anything else I could chase, and that you truly are the way, the truth and the life.